They Say That I've Been Dreaming

by Bradley Peter   Jul 16, 2010


They say that I've been dreaming,
They Say they've been waiting for so long,
Night and day they'd pray,
Pray their love kept me strong,

They say that I've been dreaming,
And dream I did, indeed,
I dreamt of love and peace,
And all the things we truly need,

I didn't dream of heart ache,
Or hungry hurricanes destroying lives,
I didn't dream of bombers,
Or of a sea of battered wives,

I dreamt of smiling faces
So innocent and pure,
I dreamt of a world united,
You have no idea, I'm sure,

But I did dream, and I enjoyed it,
I reveled in it's calm,
Now I know the richest man of all,
Is he whom holds peace within his palm

They say that I've been dreaming,
Well, I wished I'd never awoken,
Because I'd rather live in that dream,
That wake and have my heart broken.

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  • 13 years ago

    by Daisy if you do

    In your profile it says you want honest critique, opinions and whatever. I truly hope you mean that, I would love for people to give me an honest feedback on my poetry. So with that being said I seen a few grammatical mistakes in your poem. I shall start with that and hope you know that it is not meant to belittle you. It is merely my opinion and you are free to take it as that if you wish.

    They say that I've been dreaming,
    They Say they've been waiting for so long,
    Night and day they'd pray,
    Pray their love kept me strong,

    * I won't get into my beliefs about the repetition of words, because sometimes they just work. I believe this stanza could be tightened up a bit. Also the only thing that bugged me was the capitalization of the word "Say". I just don't feel there was a need for it.

    They say that I've been dreaming,
    And dream I did, indeed,
    I dreamt of love and peace,
    And all the things we truly need,

    **I love this stanza and the use of the word "dream" in three different tenses was clever. They all played off each other really well.

    I didn't dream of heart ache,
    Or hungry hurricanes destroying lives,
    I didn't dream of bombers,
    Or of a sea of battered wives,

    ** heart ache shouldn't be two seperate words. It should be heartache.

    I dreamt of smiling faces
    So innocent and pure,
    I dreamt of a world united,
    You have no idea, I'm sure,

    **The last line seemed too forced to try to rhyme with line two in this stanza, not necessarily the word but the usage of it.

    But I did dream, and I enjoyed it,
    I reveled in it's calm,
    Now I know the richest man of all,
    Is he whom holds peace within his palm

    ** Second line you used the word "it's" which is a conjunction for it is. To have been grammatically correct in its usage it should read "its"

    They say that I've been dreaming,
    Well, I wished I'd never awoken,
    Because I'd rather live in that dream,
    That wake and have my heart broken.

    ** The last line first word says "That" I think you meant "than"

    Just a few opinions on this poem that I think could have a greater impact if tightened up. Overall the message of the poem was lovely and I enjoyed the poem. Please forgive me if you think I overstepped my boundaries and thought I may have overdone it with grammar. I could be wrong, have been and will again.

    Take Care,
    Kay

    • 7 years ago

      by Bradley Peter

      Hello,

      I did truly mean that I wanted honest opinions, and I'd like to take the time to thank you - obviously, first and foremost for reading the piece - but for giving such in-depth feedback.

      Regards,

      Bradley