Comments : Bring me The Sunset In a Cup

  • 9 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I pray that your sunshine will weave my words as an artist places images on a canvas when the time comes

  • 9 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    That was deep haha

  • 9 years ago

    by Jad

    This was a really good write. I could feel the emotion coming from each line of someone taking this cup. Good job and keep writing.

  • 9 years ago

    by chind

    OHHHH DUDDDDEEEEEE ! :D this was greattt ! That last stanza really just took my breath away! wow! Your one kicks mine in the buttocks :P hahaha

  • 9 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Ok hun, I will tell you my opinion and add my suggestions underneath the stanzas:

    Bring me the sunset in sleeping cups
    let night gently pours, as light fills up
    spill it in, with the deepest tranquility
    as my astonished eyes sink in ecstasy

    ^^
    gently pour, instead of pours, because night is singular

    I love the image of you being spellbound, I love the metaphor you used.

    Hold it like a fair diamond in the hand
    shining like gold, as dry summer sand
    sip me freedom, as I sip the soft power
    that lays within the magic of its color

    ^^
    it's color, instead of its

    This stanza is magic too, I just love the image of soft sand, diamonds held in the hand etc. Good work here, Nana.

    Bring me the sunset in treasured cups
    let night shake, as morning brightens up
    touch my senses, for the heart to leap
    dress me yellow rays, let sorrow sleep

    No remarks here, exept, wow!!!!
    Dress me in yellow rays is such beautiful poetic language.

    as I listen to the ripples of it's orange fall
    drown me with beaming memories I recall.
    As for my lonely tired eyes, and thirsty lips
    bring me a cup lightened by sunset drips ..

    This is also perfect, wording, imagery..second stanza is pure magic.

    You did well on this, really well Nana...outstanding poetry and you won my heart with it, ha ha ha!

    A big ole hug,

    5-5 Ingrid

  • Rania in these few years I have known you
    I have watched as you have grown & flowered into the most amazing Poet. your choice of words are so eloquently spoken & expressed , your english is becoming so fluent & your choice of expression is something I would be so proud to have accomplished myself . There are so many treasures that await within you for all to see .
    You are a Diamond who continues to shine brighter with each new expression you release ....From what I see here you have taken a hint of pain & allowed it to flourish in the the perfect expression of beauty 5/5 my sweet friend .... All my love , Uncle Jim

  • 9 years ago

    by Ronald Edwards

    Sun Shine, your poem has brighten my some what dreary day. Please pour me a cup of sunset drips right to the brim please :-)

  • 9 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    I am spell bound by the imagery... the creativeness and the beauty with which you have weaved each image ...

    //Bring me the sunset in treasured cups
    // this line itself is so filled with happiness... and it made me smile...

    brilliant and beautiful work :)

  • 9 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Sun set - sun rise. How beautiful the scene that we have all gazed upon. It is a true picture of wealth, the richness of its tapestry, the brightness of its warming colours, shining bright, glowing like magical fires warming a world below that is servant to its warmth and its light.

    I enjoyed this poem very much. Imagine if you could harness this miraculous sun, its very essence in one cup. How precious would that cup would be? How carefully would you carry that cup? Surely not one single drop you would want to spill. What would be the consequences of such an act?? A sun that glowed less brightly, a warmth that had a chilled edge? Imagine that??

    Well done - I like this alot.

    Michael

  • 9 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I love love love this title, I was going to try it as well, but no spot left & I probably wouldn't have had time to write it anyways. I thought you did such an excellent job though, one of the best poems you've written to date.

  • 9 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Congrats hun, well deserved <3

  • 9 years ago

    by Lana

    First, let me apologise for I thought I had left a comment when you first posted this but now I remember I was running out the door and planned to comment on my return, obviously I forgot!

    I imagine if I also had a cup like this I would guard it with my dear life and gaze upon in when life throws a lemon my way.

    Perfect visuals and amazing flow made this verse a pleasure to read.

    Congrats on you win, very well deserved.

  • 9 years ago

    by Cindy

    Congrats Nana.....a very well deserved win :)
    Love Cindy

  • 9 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow.... This poem is absolutely magnificent! It's no wonder you won! Congratulations by the way! I absolutely love this poem. It's amazing!!! I would love to hear about the inspiration about it... Do PM me!!! Excellent job!

  • 9 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I don't know what to say this is absolutely perfect. One of the best poems I've read in a long time....MAGIC!!! 5/5 Brilliant.

  • 9 years ago

    by tainted melody

    This was amazing, and I hope it won the contest you entered it in. I loved this a lot and I think the symbolism and descriptiveness fit perfectly... sometimes everything just works. ^_^

  • 9 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    "As for my lonely tired eyes, and thirsty lips
    bring me a cup lightened by sunset drips .."

    yes mam...consider it done!....;~)

  • 8 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    This piece holds such imagery. It is really good. :-) Well done!

  • 1 year ago

    by Thungchio Kithan

    interesting specially the last para

  • 8 months ago

    by Zia Mikaela

    Intelligent, delightful and vivid. I love it!