Comments : Turn Off The Sun

  • 11 years ago

    by Jim McMillen the man within

    I like how in the first verse you say you shine brighter due to the contrast of your surroundings .

    Turn off the sun; my life still will shine from deep within
    Dress me in black; watch me glowing like I have never been
    From darkness I was born, yet rebelled with a white skin
    Demolish me in dimness, but even then I can potentially win......
    Rania I found the entire poem so beautifully expressed & so very well written though I am a little confused by the statement the last verse makes ( for I candidly despise light )
    Maybe its because you grow tired of continually fighting the darkness so the light may shine ? ...I don't know , I'm not trying to be technical only trying to find & understand its deeper meaning ...
    It is once again a beautiful piece of poetic expression you've penned her & i really enjoyed reading it .....5/5.....Jim

  • 11 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    No I meant exactly that I wont really mind darkness, because I hate day time or light shall I say for what it reveals from bitter facts. :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This holds some deep meanings which makes
    the reader to think about. From what I gathered, a life living within the darkness yet
    fights for a positivie outlook...maybe I am wrong but that is what I got. Very interesting
    & thought provoking!

  • 11 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    U really read it well william :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Andrew

    Wow 5/5 Turn off the sun; my life still will shine from deep within
    wow thats all i can say damn!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by chind

    What powerful words you have used here naza. Wow, i am taken away. I really like the contrast between dark and light in line 3.

    "What would a dying sun do, when I'm united to what's gray"
    - this was my favourite! So nicely written :D

    As always, amazing work naza. a gold sticker for you :P

  • 11 years ago

    by Lost Innocence

    Interesting... lots of meaning if you know how to interpret it

  • 10 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow! This poem is so deep and emotional... It really touched me... I loved the whole concept.. From the title to the very last line of the poem... So nicely written! And I love that it's so unexpected.. I couldn't exactly guess what this poem would be about and I liked that about it... I loved the poem... It was so interesting and I liked the idea of hating the sun and trying to make it "stop" because you're feel depressed and dark... I love it!!!

    I think the last stanza was definitely the strongest and the best, simply the perfect ending! Wonderful job!

  • 10 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    'and my misery fears the revelation of its hidden duskiness
    for I mourn, I revive within my own mystery - nonetheless
    I breathe the pain of my lonesomeness, which I repress'
    ^Honestly I didn't like the rhyming of words with ness at the end, I think they become so lengthy and sound so awkward, although they rhyme they just seem to be a bit off.

    A wonderful write, showing that you can overcome anything, no matter how deep the darkness, you will always rise above, finding that light in your heart to keep you going...nice write

  • 10 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    To be able to be happy without ouside help is the most stable kind of happiness, Nana. I think we should all strive to be happy just being ourselves. You worded this very eloquently.

    A night spirited woman thrives through me, when ever I pray
    Embedded in my soul, with agony I live to fight another day

    It takes courage to make yourself a worthwhile life:)

    Well done, hun:)

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 10 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Sorry about the despising thing, but....
    not much about your presentations or profile, including name, shows that to be so...
    So...I'm 'guessing' you took on this angle on the subject as a challenge?
    absolutely successfully I say...

    Thank you for your very kind words re 'mid-September'...

  • 10 years ago

    by No1ButMe

    Very well put together. I like the comparison to the stars, very creative. I enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work and good luck with the contest. 5/5


  • 10 years ago

    by aanika R I P

    The beauty this is how u've presented the darkness in so positive manner..... & guess what u succeeded .....its a beautiful piece.... :) very inspiring :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    This is truly an inspiration for me right now. Really love how you can believe in yourself and be so strong as well. I will be reading this whenever am down. Favorited.

  • 1 year ago

    by Shokry Al Qubati

    So inspiring and strong! ????