It's Pointless.

What's the point in trying when there is no one to care.
What's the point in trying when I know I can't get there.

All the happiness just washed through me to become despair.
The pain is brutal and I believe that it's just no fair!

I tried to do it better, strived to achieve it like was your dream,
but I'm sorry Mother, it's not going to happen it would seem.

Going through the options, but I still come up with naught.
It's left me with my head hurting and my mind completely fraught.

I wish that I could do it; I really hoped that I could,
It turns out I'm a failure, just like I always knew I would.

I was apparently your last hope, and I've blown it too.
Now I'm left in despair not knowing what to do.

I wanted to achieve this for me and for you too Mother dear,
but it seems I've let us both down, there's nothing left but a tear.

The depression that I thought was gone, has now again returned.
I felt that I've lost all hope and that we've both been burned.

My hope was shattered into a million pieces true.
This let down is painful and there is nothing left to do.

I've had my heart ripped out, shed a thousand tears or two.
I've been left behind and lied to, and now I have this too.

The stars are no longer shining, and my daylight is fading.
My night no longer entertains me, this is just so degrading!

It's time I just gave up, and become what no one expected of me.
I've let everyone down and I don't feel proud, just sorry...

I guess I'm the one to blame for the state of mind I was in...
Feeling the stares and hate, as if I was the one who had sinned...

It wasn't me, but now I feel guilty for ruining everything.
Aim high you told me, but I wish I hadn't coz I wouldn't feel this sting.

My heart is bleeding; my mind is a soggy mess...
I've seeped back into lonely depression from all of this stress.

I wish I were still a child to know not of the evil around me...
I wish that I was brave to erase myself from this world I see...

Just want to disappear, to be a shadow on a wall...
I wish that no one believed in me, it determines the harder I fall.

This belief, this destruction, I'm broken inside and dying...
No one knows what's on the inside, but outside they see me crying...

I am a mess I know, but I will deal with it on my own.
It's going to be tough, and I'm going to be all alone...

I don't care its how I deal with everything, just a speck of dust...
It's my mess, my disappointment; I'll die and turn to rust...

Let the walls build up, the tidal waves crash over me, I will not hide.
No ladder will reach the top; no one will reach me inside...

The war will rage on, the mental destruction within, I've won the crown;
I've destroyed my life, after trying so hard, it's all come crashing down.

I've come to the conclusion that it is pointless... To just give up on it all;
It's pointless to even try when I'm only going to fall....

By Alisha Sherden
04/11/10