Silken

by Colm   Mar 23, 2011


You weren't there but I saw you,
on the steps of the station,
standing beneath the clock-tower,
tilting your head to the side, to smile -

And I want you like hunger wants cake,
I want you like an island -

That night I tasted your azure eyes
in a silken haze, and lusted to spark
a flame in a matchbox.
Or in a pyre,

I wanted to kill the shadow beside you -
I wanted the poison that puppeteers rats.

Beyond the silken vagary
I stand, in tangerine smog.
I shadow. I want, I need

azure seas, and the breeze
to tickle the rusting bells.

I stand outside the station.
Forgetting how you are
as a flame to a candle,
forgetting how fire bends

in silken dreams.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    "azure seas, and the breeze
    to tickle the rusting bells."

    My favorite lines of the whole poem.

    5/5

    -Heather

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    That night I tasted your azure eyes
    in a silken haze, and lusted to spark
    a flame in a matchbox.
    Or in a pyre

    *That was my favorite part :] I love the word "azure" I never use it but I like to see others use it lol. I don't know if me and Temps were reading the same poem because I didn't see anything wrong with your metaphors. They were simple and got your emotions across just fine. And I liked the way you repeated some words, fit just well with the poem. I liked this one. Very well done my friend :] -Nik*

  • 14 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    Wow... I'm speechless. This is absolutely breathtaking. The vivid imagery, the vocabulary, the format, everything. I loved it! 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I know we talked about this. I feel with your style you've always worked repetition into your poems quite a bit, so I felt that didn't come to much of a surprise.

    I suppose you've used your metaphors as well for a reason, although they aren't the most original.

    However, the opening offered something lovely as well as -

    'I wanted to kill the shadow beside you -
    I wanted the poison that puppeteers rats.'

    I think you could work on your structure a bit as well, I know I mentioned a few parts to you personally that I felt needed work.

    It's your poem though, do as you wish :)

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