Love and Its Implication on the World

More than just a Concept, More than just an Emotion

A gift given unto this undeserving earth by grace alone, love stretches so far beyond the limits of conception that it cannot be bound by our ascetic minds completely. It is the foundation and flesh of the creator, and we are insufficient as the created. Just like the saying the apprentice never becomes more wise than his master, or he then would become the instructor, there is so much we cannot comprehend when it comes to the overpowering existence of love, because if it was possible then we could understand our God, which we all know cannot be done as long as we live on this earth. But there are some in this world who do have a firm grasp on what this earthly love is meant to be like, how it is meant to be shared, and its true significance. Those men and women are meant to lead those who have lost their discernment and love them in such a way that it would be so obvious and awe-inspiring to them that would be unable to defy it. Love is meant to be a constant battle, a confrontation, in which adversity more devastating than seemingly practical is placed before you and you strive forward without a faltering step, because the love inside you controls your life and consumes you wholly. If this was the case, than this tribulation would fall to its knees in the face of such might, of such passion. Love is empowering, love is uplifting, love is greater than any misfortune, any difficulty, any malice, any iniquity, or atleast it is meant to be, can be. When I hear the statement, we are only so young, how can we love at this age, when regarding love meant to be matrimonially authentic, yes, I do believe at this age that kind of love is intermittent, and most usually, impracticable. Mainly because how often it is abused, and misinterpreted. The disparity between a strong emotion and a true, genuine love is staggering, monumental. Despite this immense difference, it is so often confused. That's the basis for my typical response when I hear such things, which is bah! yea right, or more appropriately, a resilient disbelief. But in my mind, and most likely in the dark depths of it, I think well maybe they will be the first I've met to truly have a legitimate love, and grasp of its meaning, for one another, but every time thus far my main point has been proven correct. I do not cast it as being outright unattainable, but I do consider teenage love to be something only two with exceptional maturity can achieve. Another reason it is so unlikely to possess a genuine love at this age, and have it last, is because people change with time. As they mature, their opinions on what they desire in another person alters with certain events that take place, and where they are currently in their own walk in life. Once they do find love, these things won't be a concern because all that will matter is the relationship they have created with this person. All of this sorrows, discontent, their regrets, will fade away like an eagle fades from sight as it soars into the horizon, if their love is real, truly real.

When I accepted Christ many years ago I set my goal in life to advocate love, sincere love, love that has passion and honesty, but I know most often I fail to deliver this message with my life. I realize that's why I am so often misinterpreted, misread, and given false assumptions of the person I really am. And I take majority of the blame for it, because at times I know I am hypocritical, do not walk in love, and I tend to allow worldly fulfillment to control parts of my life. Such as lust, dishonesty, selfishness, and just simply, sin. With that said, I suppose the conclusions set upon me are self-given and justified. I have given in to physical desire, disregarding my true knowledge of how insignificant, how trifling, and how pointless this kind of relationship truly is, when it is not secondary to a deep sentimental basis. I will stand by my belief that relationships built upon the physical aspect will never last to my death, because it is the truth. Physical relationships can be easily related to how a child interacts with a new toy, sure he will have fun with it for a moment, he may think it's the best thing that's ever happened to him, but eventually he will grow tired of it and move on to something else, to a new toy. And the cycle repeats. In a more complex, intellectual sense, it can be seen as an endless maze in which every path you take leads only to the same dead end, the same hopeless heartbreak. It is a miserable road to follow, one that only provides provisional happiness, one that grasps your heart then fades away and leaves you torn and broken. It strays so far from what the true meaning of a relationship is meant to be, it's nomadic and should not find a home inside of any of our hearts. Relationships are meant to be a friendship and bond between two people in which each person shares their life with the other person, loving them and caring for them above themselves, respecting them and doing everything you can to see the best in them despite how many flaws they may have, because we all have more than we care to show. You build a relationship upon this concept, and then you decide whether you want this person as a friend and only, or as something more in which emotional feelings come into place, which in most cases you've already known they were there. When affectionate relationships are built upon an already existing foundation of friendship and an already created knowledge and understanding of the person, the relationship will be so much more rewarding and far less traumatic and wounding to the heart, because if it does not last, you still have that foundation of friendship you created beforehand. That is one reason I have decided to wait and never rush into anything, because rushing only leads to a defective relationship that will only end in harm, in distress. I aim to build a friendship in order to have that basis, but also I wait until I am entirely confident that this person is someone I do have strong emotional feelings for, and that it is someone I will be entirely satisfied with making a commitment to, in devoting my heart and time to them. If I don't, my attention will drift to thoughts of someone else, on whether I might be able to have an affectionate attraction to them instead, and that would not be fair and honest to the girl I am supposed to be loyal to. When I say friendship, I don't strictly mean the same kind of friendship you would share with a brother, or cousin. I mean friendship as in a familiarity with the person's life, who they are, what events have taken place to shape them and raise them, and hopefully be able to relate to them and understand them, because that should be the goal in every friendship. Loving someone comes so much easier when you understand them and what they've been through.

I know I am so far from perfect; the defects in my life are as noticeable as the darkness that surrounds a blind man, as clear as glass pristine and immaculate. But we all fall short of glory; we all are a thousand steps short of climbing the stairs to be deserving of grace by our hands alone. I think at times I may be a hundred thousand steps away, and with every day that passes it adds another. I've lost my balance, and I know alone I will never regain it. My words say I want change, but my heart has to join these words, or that's all they will ever remain, mere words that fade like the sound of an individual musician as the orchestra begins to play. They are without a claim without authentication. I pray not to be a hollow idealist, one that only speaks of change but never does anything to progress it. But I know the description fits me well in this day and age, as does hypocrisy. I realize my inadequacy and failure to be a leader of those who are lost; I pray that no one has been turned away from deliverance as result of my false representation of who Christ is. Everyday my life is a battle between who my heart knows I should be, and what the world wants me to be. It's a struggle that I cannot seem to overcome. But I believe one day I will, and Ill be able to love like I know I should, and could. I know this world doesn't want real love to exist, but Im willing to fight through anything to ensure it does. Because I know the day I find the one I am meant to find, it will be greater than any depravity and injustice this world can cast upon me. Love will never fail if you set your whole heart to it

Word Bank
For the people who said they couldn't understand the "really big words." :)

Ascetic- simple, austere
Malice- wickedness, hatred
Impiety- sin, immorality
Matrimonially- relating to marriage
Intermittent- rare, scare, sporadic, irregular
Disparity- difference
Resilient- tough, strong
Advocate- promote, encourage, preach
Trifling- insignificant
Pristine- flawless
Depravity, immorality, sin, corruption