Agony

Hurt...
I can feel it in my heart,
In my gut deep down.
I'm tired of being used,
Tired of being hurt.
I grow weary of your torment.
I suffer the pain...
That I'm delivered to,
That I give in to.
It's been a silent goodbye,
Not the way I wanted to end at all.
I hate you!
So why do I still love you?
I still wear the bracelet,
The clothes,
Still stare at the pictures.
I want to cry
But...
I'm angry!
The memories...
The feelings still linger.
I think I'm drawn to jerks.
Cuz all I get is hurt.
I wonder...
If I feel for you,
How can I feel for another?
I have a friend,
I'm making friends.
I'm getting my life together,
Reading my favorite books again,
So what's wrong with me?
Letting go is harder than I thought
But I need to let go
I think I'm losing my glow,
My smile,
Happiness...
It's no longer true.
I'm dull and lifeless
But somehow living.
You were put in my life for a reason,
There's a reason for everything.
So I thank you,
For the things I found,
Things for why you were meant to be there.
But...
For this endless torture...
I HATE you!