If ever..

I thought it had stopped...
i thought you had stopped..
i had not seen you in a while..
but....
you came into my room last night..
said anonymous get up...
i immediately was terrified and was hoping that it was just another bad nightmare i was reliving ...
it wasn't so..
i opened my eyes and there you were again..
you said i am back
you said be quiet..
do as i say or i will kill you..
you started taking off my clothes..
forcefully entering me again..
this time i didn't scream or cry begging for you to stop because i knew you wouldn't,
or yell to the top of my lungs for someone to help me because no one has ever stopped you before..
or fight you off
clawing, punching, and biting you...
getting whatever was near me to hit you with..
i let you get what you wanted without a fight...
as i watched you walking out of my room..
i wondered why did i think it was the end of you..
why does my mom keep letting you back into the house..
this time i couldn't even cry myself to sleep..
i just sat and held myself in a ball sitting on my bed
where you raped me on repeated actions over and over
remembering all of the times you did this to me..
i just wonder when you will stop if ever...