The Edge of Freedom

by PinkyPrincess   Nov 9, 2011


Agonizing situation,
swaying on an edge.
Shaking unsteadily,
Hesitating; I hold my grip.
My mind has escaped;
unaware of this state.
Can't move a muscle,
fearing the unknown.
My weak body pulls,
and is succumbing.
Leaning towards my fate,
eyes closed, breathing heavily.
If I jump, will I be free?

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Different and excellently done. Can't say more then it's perfection on paper..Good job

  • 14 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    I agree with girl. .. And i think this was a really deep poem the last line sumed it all up well penned

    tony x

  • 14 years ago

    by Matthew Schut

    WOW!! I love this!!! Good work!

    While reading it, I can feel every word and the ending was PERFECT!!!

  • 14 years ago

    by Meme

    This is different than how you usually write, but still its something amazing. Alot of us has gone through that at some point in life. Its the fear of the unknown that agonizes the most.

    Great poem in its simplicity sweetie.

    Couple of suggestions:

    Hesitating; I hold my grip.
    ^^
    Make the "H" small letter, looks better.

    Also I suggest leaving a line before the last line, it would give more effect to the way its read.

    Keep it up Pinky ;)

  • 14 years ago

    by Decayed

    In a brilliant way, they were written, the words.. which describe being on an edge of falling.

    And what's more great is that you described falling as falling for freedom! It's amazing ;) Original, I think.

    And the few syllables on each line just makes the reader moved and anticipate for the end. It was a very tense read, and creative.
    Way to go, Sarah :)

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