Soren

Soren, my love,
it is not easy to endure
being alone without the understanding
of others as I undergo so many metamorphoses,
feeling exiled and comfortably anxious.

Yesterday I tried to be pleased with
the liberties I have without demanding
those I don't have:
I thought about the opportunity of being
here although I haven't made friends but
I learnt with you to face who I am for
I have never managed successfully
with everyone. You told me to turn
inward and discover the universe within me.
It was hard to believe but I tried to obey.

My existential uncertainties are a blessed restlessness:
They have guided me in times of c
omplete alienation.So many things are
mere abstractions and money itself has
no value even in this world of disposable feelings.

I am aware that what I am feeling
right now is anxiety or maybe angst.
My consciousness of finitiness and
transience is pure despair.

Soren, my love
I have been extracting force
from the clouds,trying to apprehend
the absolute.
I die daily. We all die daily.

But you Soren, you never died
for your ideas still leap for joy within me.

Karla Bardanza
http://asmoonsewsthesatinstars.blogspot.com