I have reached a point of no return,
but I dare not walk away.
Not now,
when things are finally falling into place.
I finally feel like the world is making sense;
I'm not just treading water.
I'm finally floating in the abyss,
rather than just drowning.
But even as I grasp my life raft,
I feel my heart breaking.
Even as I look at my rescuer,
it is your eyes I see.
It is your devil's smile,
so out of place
on an angel's face.
The voice that calls out to me
is one I've heard only in my darkest dreams.
Dreams where a phantom
reaches out to caress my skin
but all I feel are nails,
a sign of his ownership.
This phantom no longer makes me sing;
rather,
I want to run as fast as my feet will carry me.
So, understand when I leave the lifeboat,
that I would rather suffer the cruelties of nature
than face your eyes for another minute.
