Self-taught

by Karla   Mar 22, 2012


I have been searching for myself
in manufactured happiness, in words
written with my flesh, in the sterility
of my reason as I succumbed to my own ferocity
and erased the layers of my pseudo sanity.

I have been looking for answers in gloomy
clouds, in skies tainted with despair,
in inexplicable skins, resisting the irrevocable,
so afraid of my own body:
this mystery encapsulated by the universe.

I used to think of myself as an indefinable being
woven out of an untold story. Only recently
I had begun to understand that what I have
always wanted can't be found.

It was with some difficulty that
I found my way inside, learning silently
I don't need anything but The Secret One
who has always been hidden in me .

Karla Bardanza
http://asmoonsewsthesatinstars.blogspot.com
http://skycladatmidnight.tumblr.com

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  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    The Secret One

    - Karla I imagined you whispering that in my ear.. Such a crisp, enticing style.. fervent much, wise and melodic in places. Awesome.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    I have been searching for myself
    in manufactured happiness, in words
    written with my flesh, in the sterility
    of my reason as I succumbed to my own ferocity
    and erased the layers of my pseudo sanity.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Oh Karla, the first two lines as soon as I read them just blew me away. I love how you have described your happiness as being manufactured. As though the happiness was not natural - it was fake or false.
    I love the images of being ferocious and having a false sanity - This is heartbreaking itself but the way you write things is so poetic.

    The last three stanzas were so strong. You were looking for happiness elsewhere in the world, in the universe but sometimes the world can let us down. You then realise that it is within yourself that you can find true happiness rather than living in a false life.

    Karla - brilliant poem.

    LOVED IT

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    This is a really well written poem, I like your choice of words a lot because they emphasize the content.

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    The true gem is within you... this poem is priceless... very nice!!

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    "The secret one hidden in me"

    Those words are deep. I love this poem.

    Edit: self taught, sometimes in order to
    Learn we have to taught ourselves other than someone else. It doesn't matter how much someone warn us the only way for us to learn is by experience it.