Proof of Life - senryu

Awesome

Tara,
You really made the poem with your suggestion

I don't like giving critiscm on your pieces Larry, for you are too wise and knowledgeable, but my opinion on this isn't critiscm, I just think the last line sounded jumbled to me,

"Forgotten life's bites",
maybe its me but I'd think it sounds better
"Life's forgotten bites",

it means the same, that you have forgotten life's battles, sort of, I don't know
as I said, I feel wrong given suggestions to you.

but this was a nice senryu, speaks alot to the heart, and shows wisdom.

xx

You know so much can be said in short poems and so much has been said in this piece.

From what I can see you're seeing these scars on you and sometimes wondering where they come from. I've looked at my hands and wondered how these scars ended up on me. It's like going through my mind and going through my past. It is a nice way to think about our memories and everything that has happened in our lives.

Scars to me tell us that we've lived. If I look at someone and see a scar on them too I also begin to wonder how that happened.

It's a bit of history and storytelling in us. A map of our lives really.

Awesome write Larry!!!

x

Woooooooow!
Great message in these few lines of poetic wisdom.

I love how you started it by questioning them, really deep and meaningful.

Love this piece, Larry :)