Vision Of Him

I read this about 10 times. :) Simple, touching and just makes me remember of someone I fell for but I can yell for his love no more... :'(

Short and sweet. no need for big long extravagant words/poem to get your point across. 5/5

This so emotional I agree with Xanthe in everything she said
like
"Staring along to the wilderness
Nothing to see but his face
Engraved to the lenses of my eyes
The ravishing image of this guy..."

u can remove 'along' and make 'to'-->'at'
or u can remove to and change 'wilderness'
well i like the 2nd line like even tho wilderness
have many things to see but u still see only his face, still agree with Xanthe about the change in this line

"I close my eyes...
attempt to vanish him in my sight
but my mind shouting to stop
This heart of mine yelling for his love... "

2nd line 'attempt'-->'attempting'

last 2 lines add 'is' be4 the 'shouting' and 'yelling'
i loved the imagery here also the usage of words good write
keep writing =)

Funny how i was just doing the very same thing this morning..
"i close my eyes...
attempt to vanish him in my sight"
right now..i wish i could do the same...
but...like you
"This heart of mine yelling for his love..."
love it..beautiful poem!!^_^

It is verry intresting how we can hear things in our visions , see things with every voice, and learn to describe our hearts in a very beautiful way :).... in these days .. words are very rare to beleive:) but i wish i had somone that spek to me clearly as u was talking here :) great one