I'm Sorry Jane

by Maria Chatziilia   May 15, 2012

Months ago, I met this new girl at school,
we were in the same class and she seemed cool.
She's kinda short, with long straight black hair,
she was so beautiful, I lost my words, I swear.

I wasn't brave enough to start a conversation,
because my friends said she had had an operation.
So I stood there, lost in her beautiful glossy eyes,
wondering if what they said was true, or just lies.

She turned her head and caught me staring at her,
she turned towards me and asked ''who are you sir?''
Then she said her name was Jane and smiled,
My first impression was that I was talking to a child.

I felt really embarrassed, so I just walked away,
knowing that me and her, would be something one day.
Next morning, at school, my friends gave me a dare:
I had to make her love me, I had to make her care.

''Ask her out today and go to the movies tonight''
''Guys, I really.. I really don't think this is right.''
''You are a chicken James, that is the plan.''
'' No I'm not! I will try but I don't know if I can.''

So I asked her out and she immediately said yes
No hesitation, no worries, she liked me too, I guess.
When the movie was over, she held my hand,
I was surprised, it was something I hadn't planned.

I felt guilty for playing with her feelings and lying,
but I couldn't escape the dare, though I was trying.
I had realized what I did was absolutely wrong,
she had already been depressed for far too long.

She fell for me and would tell me every single day,
My mission was accomplished but I couldn't walk away.
Because I fell for her as well and didn't want to leave,
Oh God, what did I do? I was so stupid, so naive.

She was so nice to me, so innocent and pure.
But I didn't know what to do, I wasn't sure.
I couldn't find the courage to tell her what I did,
I behaved so childish, I was more stupid than a kid.

But I couldn't hide my pain, I had to confess,
I was a total wreck, my mind was a mess,
I would try to be honest with her and explain,
hoping I wouldn't lose my beautiful Jane.

I called her at midnight, said we should talk,
she suggested that we should go for a walk.
I met her at the park where she ran up to me,
I wished she'd understand what she meant to me.

My voice was trembling, my knees were weak,
I couldn't move a muscle, I couldn't speak.
''Please tell me what happened, what's wrong dear?''
'' It's just that not having you in my life is my worst fear.''
''I'm not going to leave you, tell me what's wrong,
I promise to try to understand and stay strong''
''Jane, I did something really bad that I regret
and I won't be mad at you if you leave me, but not yet.''
''You're scaring me James, what are you trying to say?''
'' I love you so much, but a dare brought me your way.
I only asked you out because it was a silly game,
but then I got to love everything about you, even your name.
I'm so sorry, I really didn't want you to get hurt,
I didn't imagine I'd fall for you, thought it was just a flirt.
Now you can hate me as much as you want, but know this,
I won't ever stop loving you, I'll always remember our first kiss.''

I stopped talking and just waited for her to reply
''Look, it doesn't mean that my love for you is a lie''
''STOP! ''she screamed, ''I don't want to see you again''
''You have every reason to be mad but I was stupid back then''
'' How could you do this to me?'' tears fell from her eyes
I disgusted myself, why did I do this, why all those lies.
Jane couldn't stop crying, as much as she tried
and that moment I realized something inside me had died.

Now I had started crying as well, but her tears were dry
she was just looking at me, as if she was asking why.
But I had no excuse, I was the only one to blame
I ruined everything and nothing would ever be the same.

I could see the pain in her eyes, it was so clear,
she didn't want to be there, she wanted to disappear.
She started running really fast to get away from me,
I didn't chase her 'cause I knew she was better off without me.

I went home devastated and locked myself in my room
I had no reason to live, I was surrounded by gloom.
Then I received a text message from her that said
''You're not worth my time, not even the tears I shed.''
She was right and I knew it, but couldn't make it alright,
I was a liar, she was gone, I couldn't sleep at night.

I woke up in the morning, just to die a little more
she had killed herself 'cause she couldn't take it anymore.

Don't ever trick someone into loving you when you do not,
because one day you may lose everything you got.


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments