Staring In The Distance

by Thomas   Aug 2, 2012


Grey-blue eyes
Staring in the distance
Unaware of his surroundings
So unlike him

It's against his nature
Against his state of mind
Cause all he thinks about
Is the here and now

But here and now
Is not a happy place
Not a good environment
For this life phase

All of this is caused
By people and hurtful words
Reason to gaze at the horizon
And crawl into a shell

In there I am free
To do what I feel
To show what I mean
I will now summarize:

I don't only revise me
I revise what I see
That's just what I be
It's what I use to flee

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Meme

    I am honestly becoming a fan of your work. You have ana amazing way of writing.

    This piece is all mysterious and deep at the same time, and it flows with an ease. The openning stanza was so capturing, it just grabbed my attention to keep on reading. I wished it lasted longer cause I sure was lost in the atmosphere of it...

    Perfectly penned Mr T :-)

  • 13 years ago

    by L

    Suggestions in this stanza :

    " It's against his nature
    Against his state of mind
    Cause all he thinks of
    Is the here and now "

    " Cause all he thinks of-"

    ----I feel changing the "of" to "About" would improve the flow of the poem.

    'Cause all he thinks about
    is the here and now

    "All this is caused
    By people and hurtful words
    Reason to gaze at the horizon
    And crawl into a shell"

    All this is caused:

    -----I feel that if you say "all of this is caused" will improved the flow of the poem. Just by adding an Of.

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