Self pity

Nice job Becca, we both are able to tell the story using poetry.

Added this one to my favorites!

Ken

Nice piece of writng Rebecca, with a great message in it for all of us!

Although some others problems are worse than ours, we are never prepared to feel that because we are human beings.Good poem.

I found this message and this poem excellent. I applaud your courage to speak up and the strength of your poem

Nice work, with strong message in it. It`s true that we are always overwhelmed by our own small problems and we forget that many others got it much worse, although in my opinion it`s wrong to just ignore somebody`s problems even if they are small just because apparently somebody else got it harder. Everyone deserves some appreciation and comfort no matter the problem is small or huge. You did good job filling these lines, just wish it could rhyme little more.

And now for bit of grammar.

"Mothers in africa fight for life,
Most of there children don't make it to five."

Obviously Africa should be capitalized and since it`s action which is still happening it should be "fighting", and there describes place somewhere, while their describes affiliation to somebody.

"Mothers in Africa fighting for life,
Most of their children don't make it to five."

"There's mothers that live in the worlds worse dreams,
Fathers that fight for us to live for free,"

First line is kind of complicated so I`m not sure if its right way, but I think it sounds better this way(look below). Living for free is more like living when you don`t have to worry over having to pay for anything or work for anything, while I`m kinda sure u meant living freely aka living without others pressuring you.

"There's mothers that live in the worlds worst dreams,
Fathers that fight for us to live freely,"

"Young boys, soldiers, barley living there teens."

Barely, (I assume u mistyped). And it should be either living in their teens or their teens. Difference between there and their which i explained before.

"Young boys, soldiers, barely living their teens."

"Who are worse off than you."

As far I know better/worse off indicates that it would be better/worse without them alive, so instead I think it would be more correct as below.

"Who have it worse than you."

Anyway overall it`s good poem, could add bit more rhyming and boost flow a little and will be really great work ^^ And indeed what you portray in your poem is true and people should give it some more thought!

P.S. It`s just my opinion, its up to you if you wish to listen to it or not.