In a far away place all was very grand, With a pistol in her hand, A home upon the sand, Kristen ruled the land, with a noble jackass steed, his name was Tiny Pete, If ever you should meet.
Taranoble town was a hole inside the ground. With very few around, not a one desired to be found.
Yes, it all was grand when you ruled upon the land. But feeling all alone Kristen had to find a better home.
So off they went on a journey well spent. Tiny Pete and me (The narrator you see). But you thought this was a story of Kristen the Queen? How would you know if neither you had ever seen? This is Kristen, the Narrator, this story is about me.
Trotting along rocky the road on my dear steed Tiny Pete one day. I found a rather clever friend as a few of you might say. Her name was Hundearah Rockafella May.
She kicked me off of Tiny Pete and demanded that I rise to my feet. She invited me to weekly ceremonies full of people's testimonies though I ate their pepperoni's I actually prefered their rice-a-roni. Tis' a shame I stopped going.
It was after a weekly ceremony when we ran into some demons. Names of common schemers, Frankfurt and Tod Feemers.
One was drooling madly the other looking badly..I thought it was going to be the last of us When Hundearah did a pelvic thrust. With the woosh of the wind and Hundearah's pelvic bend Frankfurt and Feemer were frightened and our self esteem was heightened.
Though the day was long and toilsome, We decided to call it a night on a meadow out in Rolland. Dark and dreary and cold and weary. We rested our bones.
The rise of dawn woke me from my slumber. Hundearah had prepared fresh cucumber. On the rocky road again we headed to Albain. It was there I met a character so stubborn my thoughts I had to refrain.
His name was of a fresh new meaning. He had a kind of posture leaning. Trundathomnas became a dear friend to us. Ask Hundearah who over time gained a crush. He played his stringed box and waved his curly locks and I, to this day, have not forgot.
In Albain we stayed over time because it was a jolly ol' town. It was said everyone visited there to avoid all the frowns. A new chapter was coming though and we had to leave it all behind. Kristen was on a mission, with a new life to find.
New life I was finding but still engraved with my old. It was in a place near Fashonton where we struck gold. The land was filled with roses, all white and red. We took the gold to the nearest town but all the town was dead.
There in this city I did find one child. Looking just like me, except, this child was wild. Blue eyed and blonde haired tall as a pole. Named Susseringtro this kid had much soul. Only one left in this burned down dead empty town. I asked her to join us and showed her the gold we had found.
We met some more people like Zervebing and RyeNye. Both were good fella's with a depth in their eye. Zervebing would teach me though I thought I'd teach him. Zervebing would argue and argue and win. RyeNye was a kind heart who had unintentional humor. Some would say he was a nice guy, that's what they rumored.
Then we met our share of real downers. Like, Dumpster the digster and Fanfag the Fagger. One time Susseringtro did meet a real charm. Why his name was Sir GOD Evitoenabber and he's still on her arm. I did get in a fight with him once because he forgot I was Queen. I told him being God wasn't that impressive and to be a Queen was only in his dreams.
Meeting all these people was the best part of all my journey. Please do excuse this subtle ending because I feel it's getting corny. I wanted to write to tell you all the story, Of Kristen the Queen and what's ahead of and before me. I'm glad your here with me and a part of my dear future. There's some I've left behind and I've pulled out all the sutures. My life has been a long ride on a jackass steed I named Pete. I thought my life was boring and was living in defeat. On the trail I looked around and saw those dear friends of mine. I noticed I had a crown of gold. My life was doing fine.