Utopia

I really like the strong imagery you have put in this poem. It's clever. And strong. I love the idea of a human being a utopia for someone. I can see clearly, your control. It takes talent to really be able to do that. I think it all flows very well, and none of it seems too simple. I only question why you began it the way you did? It's just new to me c:
Beautiful poem.
-z

Forgive me,
for not penning the beginning of this poem
as beautiful as the rest of it will turn out.
Its just a very time consuming, over whelming,
unbearable moment to get my brain to focus
on clearly explaining how I feel about you.

- I think that is a great opening because it shows how your emotions were so strong and overwhelming to begin witht hat you just wanted to write anything to get started in order to let them out. I also like how you mentioned the poem would be beautiful becaise when we know the author such as yourself, we know this will be true :)

How you've become your own environment
unconsciously and it was made for me-
My utopia.

- nice introduction here to the title which I like.

So surreal, unimaginable, tranquil, you are.
Everything that breathes life, that has movement,
you own. Like the palms that fan overhead and
knot my hair, from wind that tangles it playfully.
Like the mist that ricochets off of a wave and
snuggles my freckles when it lands gracefully.

- this is very unique descriptions of how this person makes you feel and the metaphors here are so vivid and it sets a very peaceful feeling.

You're the serenity that lays awake every hour
just to make sure I get proper rest- thank you.
Without your sacrifice, I'd never know what a
dream is. I'd never know that it was possible to
visualize without being alert. That while I engage
in a meeting with the back of my eyelids,
they'd show a film of you.

- This again is very peaceful and romantic and shows how much they care for you in order to stay awake to make sure you fall asleep. It is very touching to think of the relationship and how strong it is.

You may not want to be my paradise. You
may say you can not be bothered with such
responsibility, but I don't need to ask permission.
You do it without effort.

- this is when you know it is for real. I relate to this part so much because my fiance used to tell me this all the time, that I painted him as a saint when he felt he done nothing to deserve the praise. In reality he didn't have to do anything because the way he made me feel and how he treated me was just enough to be that saint. <3

Islands survive daily and no one gives a second
thought to who owns which ones. However,
I could find you in an instant because I've spelled
out S.O.S on your inviting beach front.
(Safely owned Shore)

- What a very unique idea to add to a poem, it reminds me of soul mates and when they are apart how they always feel together and no matter where they are they promise to always find each other.

That way they won't worry when they see my boat
Shipwrecked amongst rocks and driftwood.
They'll know it was by purpose. That you belong to me-
My utopia.

- Great ending, it is nice to see a ship wreck in not such a horrible sense but more of a powerful sense of love and determination to keep hold of this love.

I really enjoyed this Chels, Thank you for writing this one x

No wonder, you're so talented chels, making those lines make me stunned, I can't imagine how you construct it between lines...I search about Utopia, and yet imaginary as it is, so as your piece is as imaginary as it is too.

I can't tell you how this made me feel, it was just so touching, it was really deep but not soppy and cliche, it was beautifully worded, gentle and calm, full of that sweet kind of love for someone...that really warm sort of feeling.

Just beautiful, Chelsey...

Absolutely beautiful! I adored every line from start to finish. I find it funny sometimes how we can love someone or something so much...we can barely find the words to describe it's meaning. But I definitely applaud you, and your work here.