Regression

by Chelsey   Jan 22, 2013


These tears are unexplained. Strength was my right hand for
all these months, yet January finds me weakened. I have not
a clue why. Why here in this moment, 4 a.m reminds me of
you. I'm hurt again when its been avoided. I'm missing you
again when it was never felt. I'm regressing tonight.

Your voice, my oh my that voice, so beautiful, so sincere.
I miss the way it said my name and how it carried this
melody one could not whistle to. I miss the way it read
to me, the way it laughed, the way it sounded when it
seen better days. I always wanted the comfort it portrayed.

It pains my heart to be smiling right now, yet I can't help
but laugh at our jokes, remembering the sound of your humor.
Some days, I felt like the best of friends who knew your
ticklish spot. Other days, I felt like a lover who knew what
made you melt. Melted we were, in every moment together.

I will never understand the way you left me, like clothes
on a wire that you forgot to take in. You let the rain saturate
my being and I'll never understand what I did to deserve
the storm. You'll never have the courage to explain it
and I'll stay abandoned, hanging by clothes pins.

These tears are irrelevant. These words are not valued,
but I remember when they once were. I remember the
way you not only cherished every one, but memorized
them. You knew my thoughts better than I. You took
the time to figure me out. Completing me some days.

Perhaps I'm regressing because I never allowed myself
the chance to. I was so bitter, so stubborn when you
took your exit that my heart instantly stopped loving
and I found not a care in the world for you. I still don't.
However, not caring never stops me from missing you.

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Ares

    I always enjoy reading a poem that is a good body of text because it presents to the reader an entire meal to sink ones teeth into.

    The topic of heartbreak, the fight with one's inner self not feel any sorrow, not to yearn for the person responsible for such agony really hits home with me and I must say that the poem brought me back a few years. As a writer, this is a huge compliment, and I applaud the fact that your words had that power.

    I also found it intersting the way it read very therapeutic, almost like a diary or a letter and for me that was very important, especially when you're dealing with such a well-known topic. By keeping it down-to-earth, humble yet allowing yourself to sow in some imagery here and there you didn't alienate me as a reader, but you drew me in and allowed me to compare my own tragedies with yours and I felt closer to you as I read on.

    A clear 5-rate and the best poem I've read so far today. Easily. Congrats and keep up the good work :)

    Ares

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Chels I really like this and relate to this a lot. I love the battle in bewteen the lines of feeling this sadness and loss but yet anger that you feel this way because it hurts to admit they meant something to you because of the way they hurt you.

    You open the poem by saying how much you miss them, how it comes out of the blue. In January I always find people reflect over the recent year and emotions surface again and bring with it the memories they had put away.

    I like how you go on to say what it is that you miss, it shows the thoughts lead on and on and you begin to slowly miss everything about them. A voice is a powerful thing and not something easy to forget, no matter how long it has been since we heard it.

    I thought you done a great job in using abandoned clothes on a line to show how you felt when they left you. Wondering what you done to deserve this pain.

    The second last stanza, you show that the bond was once strong because it felt like they knew you better than you knew yourself, and they completed you. This shows the devastation it would cause when the person who completes you, leaves you.

    Then your ending you admit to yourself that you closed off these emotions at the time to protect yourself from the pain and emotions which are in this poem, but sooner or later they do come out and we can't ignore them forever, no matter how hard we try.

    I really liked this one. Well done. x

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