Enlist (Senryu)

Insightful piece! My suggestion is close to what Linda proposed with the exception that the comma gives better meaning when placed after the word "am" to make the compleate poem read like that:

Will I forget all
that has made me who I am,
when they break my will?

But in all cases the poem remains valuable as a wisdom poem. Excellent!!

There are a few errors, grammatically, with this.

Will I forget all
that has made me, who I am
when they break my will?

^Corrected. A lot of the time, these are meant to be without punctuation, but I just throw this out there, just in case. :)

I like this. The fear residing inside of you from enlisting into the armed forces is chilling. I feel you wrapping yourself around who you are, not wanting to lose yourself in trying to be apart of something bigger than you are.

Very emotional. Much love.