Endless Cliff

I am so drained of watching myself fail and struggle,
no matter how hard I try. Is it never enough?
How do I change who I am, when I like who I am?
Teach me how to focus, give me the vigor
to overcome myself. Because quite frankly,
I am getting annoyed at how easily everyone
else can do the simplest things,
and then tote them in my face
as if I'm not trying hard enough.

I don't want to live like this anymore.
Sometimes I stand at the curb just before
I walk onto campus and imagine I'm jumping off
an endless cliff into a vast, beautiful space.
Falling past the stars and planets with unrealistic speed,
I find my dream suddenly choked back to reality
with the smell of exhaust or
the honk of someone's car horn.