"I am always in awe at those that can pull off a sonnet and make it look ridicolously easy when they do so, I find myself even more in awe when a sonnet seems to flow effortlessly from one word to the next and melds together so perfectly combining the syllable count, content, flow and imagery, and this poem does just that throughout the entireity of it.
I really like the use of "weary heart" as how many people can relate? At times life bogs us down, or overwhelms us and we just want to rest, we grow tired, and we want our heart/mind to listen and believe what we tell them, and yet it isn't always easy to believe the things we so often tell ourselves no matter how much we try or how often we state these things to ourself.
I found the only thing I didn't like very much was the use of "and, I, you, but" etc at the beginning of some of the lines, I realize this was most likely in order to allow the author to keep to ten syllables per line but I felt that the constant use of filler words such as these started to ruin the impact of the poem overall and believe that with a little rewording this could really be a truly great sonnet.
That being said, I see this is the author's first attempt and for a first attempt I believe she did a commendable job."
Glad you gave it a try because we got a beautiful read out of it. I was blown away, when I first read this. The speaker is so vulnerable and candid; I love these types of poems. She's wearing her heart on her sleeve and crying out, begging her heart to change. Great first try; hope to see more sonnets from you. Favorited and Nominated :)
6 years ago
by Wild Flower
My first attempt was a failure:P
This is sooo great and its creative. I really love life poetry and this is an outstanding piece:)
6 years ago
by Tara Kay
Like me, you took a chance and wrote something our of your usual norm and you penned a really beautiful piece, it had that essence of something that was used and old but still really beautiful,
You really did an amazing job and it was a close second, so well done. xxxxxx