Oh Weary Heart (sonnet)

by Baby Rainbow   Mar 25, 2013


Oh weary heart, please hush your weeping beats
and calm the storm that rages with your fears.
Darkness came to enclose you with defeat;
leaving hopelessness swimming through your tears.

Demons in your mind whisper threats of doubt;
making you think this world will never care.
You try so hard to block the darkness out
but with each blink of your eyes, it is there.

Oh weary heart, please don't give up on me,
for I will always understand your pain.
I shall do my best to set your light free;
filling you up with happiness again.

I am the love that surrounds you each day,
oh weary heart, please believe what I say.

Saffie
22

23/3/13

( my first attempt at writing a sonnet... I eventually gave in and got brave! )

3


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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    "I am always in awe at those that can pull off a sonnet and make it look ridicolously easy when they do so, I find myself even more in awe when a sonnet seems to flow effortlessly from one word to the next and melds together so perfectly combining the syllable count, content, flow and imagery, and this poem does just that throughout the entireity of it.
    I really like the use of "weary heart" as how many people can relate? At times life bogs us down, or overwhelms us and we just want to rest, we grow tired, and we want our heart/mind to listen and believe what we tell them, and yet it isn't always easy to believe the things we so often tell ourselves no matter how much we try or how often we state these things to ourself.
    I found the only thing I didn't like very much was the use of "and, I, you, but" etc at the beginning of some of the lines, I realize this was most likely in order to allow the author to keep to ten syllables per line but I felt that the constant use of filler words such as these started to ruin the impact of the poem overall and believe that with a little rewording this could really be a truly great sonnet.
    That being said, I see this is the author's first attempt and for a first attempt I believe she did a commendable job."

  • 6 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    Wonderful job, it has so much to love about it, I enjoyed reading it and I liked the poem a lot

  • 6 years ago

    by Rusheena

    Glad you gave it a try because we got a beautiful read out of it. I was blown away, when I first read this. The speaker is so vulnerable and candid; I love these types of poems. She's wearing her heart on her sleeve and crying out, begging her heart to change. Great first try; hope to see more sonnets from you. Favorited and Nominated :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Wild Flower

    My first attempt was a failure:P

    This is sooo great and its creative. I really love life poetry and this is an outstanding piece:)

    Awesome job!!

  • 6 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Like me, you took a chance and wrote something our of your usual norm and you penned a really beautiful piece, it had that essence of something that was used and old but still really beautiful,

    You really did an amazing job and it was a close second, so well done. xxxxxx