A Heart's Memoir

How euphoric was I
To yield to his every desire.
As I partook his fallacious whispers,
His vanilla scent would drive me...crazy ?
Mad with great infatuation ?
Either way, he held my heart
In those soft, warm palms of his
And squeezed.

Fallen into oblivion by the nostalgic
Flashbacks of pine trees, crisp air,
And his sweet kisses that I can still
Feel being traced on the side of my neck.
Ah, good memories.
Though, they eventually are cloaked with
Darkness and more horrible experiences.

They show the past in my dreams
On a television screen, as big as day,
But I'm stubborn and stupid, I suppose.
Still, when his name slip from someone's lips,
I tend to hear my heart flutter, and I know
That he still has that hold on my heart...

He still squeezes,
And I watch as each drop of love
Spill in the same spot as my stained tears.
I can't shake the rapture from the depth
Of my soul.
I wonder if I will ever forget the memories,
His face, his scent, his touch-
But do I really want to ?

I mean, do I really want to erase him
From my memory ?

Or is the clutching of my heart so tight,
That I won't remember how to live without it ?