Stalked

by Rusheena   May 22, 2013


I ran as fast as I could
but can't seem to catch up
with the shadows.
They turned on the street lights
and gave me up.
I throw off my broken heels,
so that he won't hear me, but it's no use.
His heavy footsteps are still thudding behind me,
gaining on me with every inch.
It's only a matter of time, before this chase ends,
taking one of us with it and to hell afterwards.
I pray to God that it isn't me.
I finally stop at an empty bus station,
to catch my breath, only for a few seconds,
until a tall, broad silhouette fills the doorway.
So, I bolt down the stairs,
towards the train entrance-way.
The train is approaching,
with lights illuminating the tunnel,
and then I see him for the first time,
the man who has been stalking me.
His eyes are ice-cold, his hands, even colder.
He wipes away my single tear,
the only one that will ever be shed for me.
Then, his hands go lower,
wrapping around my neck,
tighter--tighter, until heat fills my lungs.
He once said that he'd never let me go,
and now, I believe him.

*Law & Order: SVU themed title challenge by Baby Rainbow/Saffie. Inspired by film noir. *

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Thirllers are a great way to make people keep reading, as every line makes you hang on the edge of your seat, as it does here. This does have a lot of action, but there is also a hint of sadness as well, because you feel bad for the heroine. The poem as a whole has great imagery within. This women is running away from someone or something and does not want to be caught by them. So she tries to hide in the shadows but it is close to dark, which is a problem because the street lights come on. She tries to run more but she can hear the guy behind her getting closer and she is tired. She tries to board the train but the guy catches her and chokes her to death. I like this because of the imagery you create and it works well. The ending line is clever as he doesn't let you go. Great write. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    The imagery in this piece is wonderful and they style you chose for this piece worked very well with the way your flow was crafted. The story was told almost perfectly and the way that the piece is aimed at the audience not a specific character was a good choice as well.

    Anyway, interesting write. Well done indeed.

  • 10 years ago

    by Marcy Lewis

    Oh my good gravy, this is so suspenseful. I think I held my breath reading this entire piece.

    Warren Leight & Julie Martin have nothing on you. ;)

    "His eyes are ice-cold, his hands, even colder.
    He wipes away my single tear,
    the only one that will ever be shed for me.
    Then his hands go lower,
    wrapping around my neck,
    tighter--tighter, until heat fills my lungs.
    He once said that he'd never let me go,
    and now, I believe him."

    I caught myself putting my hands to my face at this entire spot. Which I often do at L&O: SVU. You have a talent for dark writing, though. Immensely gigantic talent for it. "tighter--tighter, until heat fills my lungs." is so vivid. It's terrifying and sensory. When choking, there's a hot sensation in your lungs that you described simply and perfectly.

    In my favorites.

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