Oh I remember you now,
Your hair and beard whiter than snow crystals when they are freshly made from the sky, and eyes that of Apate,
You once told me that you would save me in the water if I needed you,
so where did you go,
I was drowning in a pool of my own blood, don't you remember,
You're like Santa Claus, you know when we have been naughty or nice, you can see everything right, better yet you know when it will happen before I happens,
so where were you in my desperate time of need?
as I bleed my life away on the bathroom floor for the second time,
Broken and alone like I was before,
knowing you weren't going to show up, making deals with the devil,
in a mummified state, crying like I've never cried before,
going insane for hours, repeatedly telling myself that I will be ok,
Oh you still don't remember what I'm talking about, man you can't talk to god about anything,
even if I spell it out for you, you don't want to take responsibility,
how about I become and artist and paint the entire scene for you,
so that you can remember what I'm babbling about,
In my room feeling betrayed and broken like Medusa's heart when Athena cursed her after Poseidon's rape,
tears flowed down my face like the fire and brimstone you sent into Sodom and Gomorrah, killing entire men, women, and children because they disobeyed you,
I was not myself when I broke, it was the first time in a very long time that I wasn't in control of my body,
seeing myself walk into my mother's room and finding the razor,
Tears and drool falling to the floor as I walked on wobbly legs to my bathroom where I first tried to kill myself years ago,
unlike before when I was timid to cut myself, I sat on the floor and gave myself two deep cuts into my left forearm without hesitation,
The blood ran down my arm like a waterfall in the middle of a beautiful forest,
turning my white floor tiles red, as I shiver on the floor,
"It's going to be alright, it's going to be alright", is what I said to myself for hours,
Left paralyzed with my the door locked, there was no light only darkness,
Did I ever cross your mind?
maybe I did, but you where too busy to care,
You bless us in the morning, but curse us at night,
you are suppose to be so great and powerful, but yet you treat your children like their adopted,
I guess that's fair in your eyes, so there is no use talking to you since you're choosing not to remember a thing,
but don't ever try to talk to me or ever be in my life,
I'll stand on my own two feet like I should have this entire time,
all I have is myself and family, that's all I need,
since you are a vengeful and hateful god I will stand by your side no more,
Stay out of my life from here on.
