I don't usually comment on poems which need no constructive criticism, but this was just beautiful. I love it. I've re-read over it a number of times now, and each time it flows better than the last. It's like a love story vacuum packed into a poem. Great use of your talent. (:
I don't know any spanish whatsoever but I did know what the title of your poem meant so that's what drew me in...This was so elegant Temps...it was hot and ...well clammy as I imagined the two dancers getting into this tango..
His breath tingled her spine,
while eyes mimicked passion;
locked in stalemate, their hip
bones like dimples, softly
sweeping against one another,
before sliding into intimacy -
OMG..how sensual was that!!! the way you described the bodies moulding together was perfect and in no way smutty...as I say..I have no knowledge of spanish so I'm glad you translated your ending into english which fitted perfectly with the title...loved it!!!
6 years ago
One word that popped in my head immediately after reading: Elegant. I love how each image/metaphor is intertwined subtly yet evidently without being too suggestive.
echoing streets of Argentina."
this part seemed awkward when I read it. I think "through" after echoing would fix that, or some other preposition?
Love the Spanish ending as well. Rolls off the tongue perfectly.