If I could write what I think
I would never post the result
Because honestly
Even I would be scared to read it
I imagine it filled with misplaced hate
Envy for the ones I love
And a hopeless sense of depression
Because the words
"I want to change"
Always sound better before I have to try
And when I try
I feel like I lose any ground I make
I'm scared
Because if people see how ugly I can be
Then it won't matter if sometimes I smile
Because sometimes I lie
And no one wants to be lied to
I'm scared
I'm not good enough
And my thoughts would just prove it to the world
I'm scared
Because when the thoughts are out in the open
I can't take them back
Because feelings will be hurt
When all I wanted to be was better
I 'm scared
I might try to tare others down to my level
Because deep down
I don't believe I can be better
I don't believe I deserve it.
