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by Colm   Sep 5, 2013


Be, be my side - just
strum my fingertips
or whisper you are winter.
Because the loss -
loss of breath-
the tigers in the cave of my bowel,
sedimentary stones and hard shores
remind me of its death.

This viewpoint from the bayhead
across the carpet ocean echoes,
its chill skirts my bones,
takes my breath -
I once wondered how an angel
could turn its back on heaven, fall -
when I used to look and see
I never saw at all.

The blazing amber setting sun,
A pageant along the horizon
plundered my breath -
this hardened heart of clay -
What more? What more
can be expected?
When there's nothing more to feel,
when there's nothing more to say.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Colm I must apologize..this should have been nominated and won...You are one of few people who just about captivate me with EVERY line....I find in poetry that its hard to keep the WHOLE poem interesting, every stanza, every line....But you do it...

    That opening stanza..blown away...completely blown away...Like, I want to comment, go heavily in depth, but really nothing I can say besides I love the entire stanza would suite it. Amazing!!

    A pageant along the horizon...for cripe sake, where did that come from? WHy didn't I think of that? I try and think of different ways to describe the sky a lot and that was beautiful...

    I'm just in love with this! The repetition made this poem more raw, showed your frustration, which made me love the tone of this piece.

    Well done as always.

  • 10 years ago

    by Britt

    I agree with Darren's comment about the echo -- it brings a sense of 'realistic' feeling to the piece... the haunting chill you get when you feel you have to reiterate for emphasis because maybe someone just isn't getting it.

    "its chill skirts my bones,
    takes my breath -"

    I love this... the way you used skirt, the adjectives in this stanza are breathtaking (ha, and goes along w/ the line.. I'm cheesy I know lol).

    "I once wondered how an angel
    could turn its back on heaven, fall -
    when I used to look and see
    I never saw at all."

    This reminded me of old-school, published poetry that I would read (and love) in my studies. The rhyme with fall/all.. you have bits of rhyme at the end of every stanza that I never noticed until I pointed this out -- it created a rhythm that was lovely but most of all it didn't seem like you had intention with it.. just natural skill.

    I love the ending of the stanza I just highlighted as well... a true thinker.

    Poetically this is an absolutely beautiful piece. You paint images and add poetic devices that make this so charming... and then jam-pack it with relatable material and emotion. I really hope to see this poem on the front page. I have to say this is one of the best I've seen from you!

  • 10 years ago

    by Darren

    Love the echo in this, adds real thought to the piece it is like somebody is muttering this to themselves trying to work out which way to turn next.

    the tigers in the cave of my bowel,
    sedimentary stones and hard shores
    remind me of its death.

    this part it absolutely amazing, one of the best few lines I have read in a long while on here.

    Great piece Colm

    I have to nominate this.