Torn

Tears of sorrow run down my face,
Trying to find a way to let him in,
Being torn and in love with someone else,
This battle I may never win.

In desperate need of someone to care,
With a specific guy in mind,
Feeling lonely because he's everything I want in a guy,
If only time could rewind.

Loving someone with someone else around,
Someone who wants to care,
He has all of the qualities he's just not the guy I want.
The guy I really want to be there.

Guilt and sorrow fill my soul,
Trying to find a way out,
Love and hate clashed together,
Ending my life without a doubt.

To many things going on at once,
So many screams inside,
Internal battles threatening to break lose
The secrets I want to hide.

So many fears along with loneliness,
Consume and tug away at my hearts strings,
I lay in bed at night thinking,
Dreading what the next day brings.

Tired of fighting but not being able to stop,
Trying to stay strong and failing,
Being pushed and shoved off of the edge,
Losing my grip on the railing.

If I lose him will I kill myself?
If I do what would everyone else feel?
Will I continue to die inside?
Or will I eventually heal?