But a stone's throw from home
Withers the shell of an elderly man
That walks a path which strays the conscience,
A thing that understands
That there is no soul in this world
That would ever give a damn
Blind in a maze of shades, black or grey,
Doomed to be bland
Strolling their shortened lives away,
As the hourglass drains of sand
A bouquet of stripped fibers
That were once a single strand
That bound the arms of the sky
To the hands of the land
Washed by atomic acid rain,
The by-product of man
Never stopped to contemplate
What we had in our hands,
Before the day we let it slip
And lost a world so grand
Never before had we seen the dark,
But now we understand
It's the villains we raise and keep
That keep the light from making it's stand
Born, bred and raised to thieve
Rob the world by the penny and gram
Unsolicited but tailored, unique,
Things no woman or child could stand
Who stare for hours at the sun
In the hopes of scheming a plan
To run this world dry of riches
In any way that they can
These are the ones we chose as leaders
Who'd trade our lives for capital gain
The ones who buy our trust to be drafted
Never to be seen again
Who print history on currency
And claim this all to be fair game
Enlisting the young and in poverty
To live low and forget their names
Harden flesh into steel
And move the soul to a different plane
Organic death-craving machines
Bred but to serve and train
Bound by a contract of the mind
By the ones who made them tame
No hope for memory or dissolution
To render the agreement lame
Adorned with an armoury of guns
Taught to move on and ignore the slain
Developing habits to suppress the heart
Weed, Heroine, Crack, Cocaine
Children in arms
Fighting the feuds of men
Never set free
Until their service comes to an end
What a powerful and creative write this is!! Just Brilliant!
I rather enjoy the structure and flow of this poem. It has a uniqueness all on its own, which makes it stand out from the rest and that is one of many reasons why I chose this poem as my top choice.
The message and word display was just incredible!
The political and patriotic message, along with sadness tones and the ending of a life and the meaning of life all wrapped into one poem just left me speechless. Beautiful and powerful poem this week By Maher
There is a couple of mistakes in this that stops me giving 10 points and plumping for 7 instead.
Byproduct should be by-product. Secondly and the one I learnt thanks to my spell check is 'withers' it is not the plural of wither. 'withers' is the gap between the should blades of a mammal. 'to wither' or simply 'wither' is the correct pluralisation. So line two makes no sense in the literal written sense even though it reads 'correctly'
Why I liked this poem enough to give it 7 points despite it largely going under the radar on this site is;
The title matches the layout of this piece. The punctuation is used here and there but not everywhere. (inconsistent) Every line is capitalised which word suggest that every line is a new paragraph. However the poem itself is a great example of story telling at its best.
('Doomed to be bland' is something I wished I had thought of myself)
I love the rhyming feel, although again inconsistent and I am not sure that there is a rhyming scheme at all. Most of all I love the darkness and the message. This is almost a fantastic poem.
(The final stanza is a perfect stand alone poem)
The lack of punctuation was intentional and I'm really glad you noticed that. The setting in my mind was a military man who was hurriedly trying to give his last words before going into a battle that he knew he wouldn't come back from. He was trying to spill as many points as possible which is why every line is capitalised - like life lessons from a dying man.
I was just talking about this subject this morning after watching the lame gov of Maine proposing more judges, cops, and prisons to help us with the problem, yeh right, You hit a home run with this one, very well written, I am a novice, but, for me it was a very good read.