How to have chronic deja vu and keep going.

Who knew Deja vu would be, would do.
Such a gift or is it a curse?
Relive it
my best and my worst.
I give it my all.
Is it a test for the fall or a thirst to bounce back like a ball?
Forget it.
Best not misbehave.
I guess.
I can't save.
I live it.
Confess.
I wonder if I'm already six feet under.
Dead replaying old scenes like thunder.
In my head the light left plundered.
No sight left unturned.
No bridges left unburned.
If this is the first time, you would've fooled me.
One and one and one makes three.
That's two for the eyes and one for the head.
So tell me again why I'm not better off in bed.
Maybe I'm being brash.
I wont thrash because
To call this life a nightmare would be unfair.
The truth is this.
In for a penny, in for a pound,
and the whole world goes round.
I think that I've found that I'm ahead of the game.
Where others are tame, I've found that I'm wise.
Day to day events are like the sunrise.
For me they return sometimes still special to my eyes.
I notice that I let my mind burn for greater meaning.
Still though, a surprise would be gleaming.
Just one event I feel I can only experience once.
I know I sound delirious, call me a dunce,
but that would be something.
It would be like a star in space.
So bright, so far, away from this place.
Today, tomorrow, for me it's the past.
I guess the idea of now is the only one that will last.
So tell me again how we've never been here before.
I'll call you a bore.
Give me something more.
Give me an idea to explore.
Give me a thought to provoke.
Give me something so I can't hear that I just spoke.
Because every single letter A-Z isn't new to me.
I need complexity.
I need a new dime.
Heads or tails, it's one or the other every single time.
Lets talk about fate and what this all means.
Lets work as a team.
I don't mean to seem rude.
I don't want to have an attitude
but you're day to day conversations with me...
those are the things that pick at my sanity.
I don't want to be another cog in the machine.
I don't want to be a drop in the stream.
but I also don't want to be spotted in the beam.
An idol is rot for the clean team.
So don't talk about them either, talk about Spock.
Talk about the things in this world that rock.
Talk about the things that make you tick.
After all individualism is just a flame on a wick.
The candle of your life is tick tick tick tick.
Mine is more like a VCR.
I'm moving through tar.
I can't help it, it's road for your car.
And maybe this doesn't make sense.
I know it doesn't pay the bills.
All I'm saying is that life is more than just thrills and "what you make it".
Living life to the fullest? You might as well fake it.
Take it for what it's worth.
From a man with the deja vu curse.