Hello,

by Everlasting   Jun 21, 2014


Yellow is the jelly that I ate
It wiggled and it trembled
In a spoon

My mouth was a planet
Much like earth
It had bacteria,
Billions I would say

That's where the jelly
landed safely on my tongue
The spoon was the shuttle
And my lips the atmosphere

It makes my tummy happy
To have something to eat.

2014

2


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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    It a very good imagination, with jelly,
    One think I don't like jelly even I hate jelly, its taste, eheee.

    But poem is really perfect.

  • 9 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Very interesting.

    My mouth was a planet
    Much like earth

    The spoon was the shuttle
    And my lips the atmosphere

    These metaphors are just amazing & so unique.

    Refreshing piece.

    all the best & take care

  • 9 years ago

    by Mohan

    This is cute and funny.
    I like jelly very much

  • 9 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Cute poem with lots of meanings, seem deep, some just sweet and funny. I don't really like jelly but might look at it differently after reading this. LOL Was fun to read and I do get the messages, intended or not intended they are there.

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This is really brilliant lucero. There are so many things you can say about this poem. I think very little punctuation works here because it lets the story flow more smoothly and you wrote it that way. You I believe wanted to write this poem with each scene go with the last. For example you go from placing the jelly onto the spoon to going into details about your mouth. The metaphor about the planet or landing safely was an interesting one. The feeling is hunger of course and the last two lines are great to stand out on their own. They are the most simple but are needed because they wrap up the poem and answer the plot of the poem. Well done.