Decisive Victory

by Rusheena   Aug 27, 2014


Smoke and ashes sting my eyes,
as I wipe away fatigue and blood from my face.
The explosions... I can still hear them, blasting away
all of the fond memories of my childhood.

I knew that this day would come,
that victory would come at a heavy price,
but the amount of carnage left behind
will never satisfy the ransom.

I've tried to drown out the thousands
of voices that cried out to me,
but the screams will never go away.
They eat away at my dreams,
consuming any hope that emerges.

It's no use. I've failed.
I've let the enemy corrupt my cause,
and now I must answer
to God for my transgressions...

*Inspired by a tragedy-themed writing prompt created by Hannah Lizette*

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  • 9 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    First of all, thanks for participating in the weekly prompt! It was good to see something
    new from you! I hope you have the time to stick around, I'd love to see ya around more! :)

    The prompt was to write about the moment after a tragedy occurred but do not mention the actual tragedy... you done very well! This piece speaks of the aftermath of war and how
    PTSD affects the the soldier who was serving their country, doing their duty but not agreeing with the actions they were ordered to do.

    The first stanza is a flashback. They still feel the burning in their eyes and the sound of the explosions going off repeatedly, still feel the blood and sweat trickling down their face. They knew that the PTSD would kick in eventually, that the victory of war wasn't such a great accomplishment.

    "the amount of carnage left behind
    will never satisfy the ransom."

    - Wow, what a true statement when it comes to war. You would think that the amount of blood shed, the amount of innocent lives taken would be enough to end the war but it never is... no number is too high. The rage overlooks the blood and that's just sad.

    They try to drown out the voices that cried to them, to save them, to help them... but no matter what they try to do, the screams will stay. Not only do they hear the reminders of their screams while they are awake, but they also haunt their dreams. The soldier begins to feel hopeless, feeling like nothing will ever be the same again. They feel like a failure for all that they have done, or failed to do...and now they feel like they must answer to God for all of their transgressions.

    As I read the ending over a few times, I feel like the soldier is going to commit suicide. They cannot live with all of the horrible acts they have committed so now, he must pay
    for his sins. He must let God deem his punishment.

    Overall, great job. You chose a very horrible tragedy indeed, something that the world is going through at the moment. I'm sure there are plenty of soldiers that could relate to this piece.

    • 9 years ago

      by Rusheena

      Thanks for the feedback, Hannah! I'm going to try to post more soon!

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