Shell of Darkness

In the emptiness of life
My heart sadly lives
In the tip of a knife

^^These lines shows the reader the agony/pain you are standing upon. Life's been placed on the tip of a knife and one false move it can rip it or end it! A delicate situation is presented here to the reader.

My thoughts weaves
Broken from the bottom

^^It will be better to remove the "s" from the word weaves and place a comma after it so it will read smoothly.

Into million of pieces I shutter

^^Did you mean shatter...?

And the future is mine to curve

^^I was thinking about this line. Did you mean "the future is mine to carve" You have used the word curve and that gave me a picture of how its in your hands on what the future should be. Its your decision, its your life.

In thy presence I will kneel
My heart please fill with love.

^^The ending here portrays how you yearn to see, help and look upon others with love so you can help them-at least that is what I feel with this line.

All in all a very delicate, touching write filled with a sadness that cannot be healed...take care.