Riptide

Weekly Contest May 4th
Judging comment:

Beautifully narrated piece, this poet has his special way with the words, interesting, nostalgic and passionate metaphor and imagery we find in every line. He was very successful employing the title to come up with very visual well written piece.

Some truly poetic lines in this one. A lovely write, and very natural flow.

Reminiscences of you
always come back to me
like a shadowy flower
amidst the current of water inlets
and Manila estuaries.

^ First of all I must say congrats on the win I can see why this won. I love the title, as riptide is a title of one of my bands favorite songs. Such beautiful imagery and flow to this stanza. I love how you are reminded of a certain person. Good or bad, It is beautiful how you use the vocabulary here to paint the scene with your words. Not a lot of people can do that well.

Tides,
rippled and shallow,
weep again
when lavender seas die
on my poetry
like kites on rainy days --
broken and forgotten.

^ OMG This stanza alone could made into a poem and or could be part of a first stanza somewhere. It seems what you are saying here is that your poetry weeps whilst you write your emotional bindings that capture your soul and weep from the heart. Poetry tends to be forgotten, even by the author who writes it so beautifully. I don't know why it just happens. as artists we tend to be our own worst judge.

No, that kite
will never come back again
(the one you gave me
on my birthday) --
stuck in a delta
found in a horizon
that is never azure,
but a resemblance
of the rip currents
I can't replace with
the waves of some strange seas.

^ I love here how you wrote this stanza. The remembrances are coming back to you strong. I love the personal touch you used here as well because it like eyes it brings out the story of the poem and makes us remember that we are all human. great stanza.

I am a stranger
in these lonely tides,
and they are bizarre,
they don't let the kites you gave
come back to me,
and they are also not letting
the memories of you
pass through the silent currents.

^ Love this ending and how you made the kite the main object in the story. It is interesting to see, as not a lot of people can do that. Anyways this poem as the reader take on a journey with you that is personal yet sad. No matter what the person and the memories will always be with you inside. 5/5 and as you know nominated. Beautiful dashiel