Suicide note

In the light of my faith,
my soul is as dark as coal can be
I find myself wishing never to be alive.
My life has nothing to do with it,
yet everything is about it.
Am dying from inside,
and I can't quite figure out the cause.
When the world spins
my innocence is deleted
and am left wondering whether that was a punishment I deserved.
Lost in the oblivion of mother nature,
my worries crawl when they can't run
and at the end they always catch up with me.
Here i am,
not sure what right need to be done,
short gun in my mouth or just a sheer rope to leave me hanging like a broken tree branch.
Maybe I should take the easy one
slit my wrists and leave without a note.
Sure you might find out later,
but it will be too late to mend what fail to be recognized.
May you forget me like memories of last winter when am gone.
My choice of departure is in here,
find it or never, the way out for me is death.