Please, Awake Me

by Everlasting   Nov 6, 2015


Please, awake me from my sorrowful slumber.
This pain incrusted in my chest
has chained me to a bed of torment.
Please, remove these sheets of tragedy that cover me.

I want to stand and open the curtains of a new tomorrow.
I want to see the light of wisdom strike my eyes each morning.
I want to eat the breakfast that satiates my hunger for knowledge.
I want to start my day gazing into the eyes of my lover,

for it is love in its purest form that cures a crippled soul.
And my soul is crippled, my lord,
it leaps for peace but never walks towards it.

Please, awake me from my sorrowful slumber
so that I may see the window that separates me from living
so that I may open it
so that I may breathe the air of what life is really like.

Please, awake me.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Cindy

    This is a very strong write. The way you are asking the Lord to help you through this time, when you feel like you have a crippled soul. Paints a image of the sadness that the writer must be feeling.
    Good job
    Love Cindy

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This is an excellent write that I will read through.
    The sheer melancholy tone of this first stanza, the language you have used and the alliteration in the first line drew me in instantly.
    Someone begging someone for release from a metaphorical "bed of torment" - I love that line and the imagery it creates.
    And then the continuation of the bed metaphor with the "please, remove these sheets of tragedy that cover me" - another really powerful line in a hard hitting and moving first stanza.

    What appealed to me about the second, from a visual point of view and considering the pleading nature of the first stanza, was the obvious repetition of "I want" at the start of each of the 4 lines.
    Again, the language you use throughout each of these things you want is excellent. My favourite line here is "I want to stand an and open the curtains of a new tomorrow".
    So despite the low point that has obviously been hit by the writer (see first stanza)! there is still hope and they/you still have things you crave. The very introduction of hope here changes the feeling of the poem a little - it may work out in the end!

    A lovely line at the start of three and so true - it is love that "cures a cripple soul" - again, your use of alliteration here - in fact, throughout - is highly effective. The next bit is heartbreaking: "My soul is cripple, my Lord...."

    And then the final, excellent stanza. Again the pleading, although we now know that the writer wants to find something better (stanza 2). The melancholy nature of the piece is mixed up with hope here - an uneasy alliance seems to be struck between the two throughout the poem.
    You know there is a life outside that window that "separates you from the living" - if only it would be opened for you.

    Wonderful write, filled with sadness and an uneasy hope for something better.
    All the very best
    Ben

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