because i think if i say it enough times
the word will disintegrate, and i'll be set free
by the bleating outside
(the dorms have caught fire, the alarms are lit)
by the air in my lungs
(the days are gone sweeter and sweeter, the air
is heavy with change)
by the slick seeping temptation
to get the hell out of dodge
(i could drive, drive forever, make a pit stop in vegas,
cirque, like we planned)
by the light pressing headache of the impending death
(or, it isn't real until it's real, grief doesn't have an end-date)
overwhelmed by the paper
overwhelmed by the pen
overwhelmed by your face, overwhelmed by mine
This is SUCH a relatable write, very deep and atmospheric, it flows really nicely when read aloud and your word choice was spot on.
I don't know why but repetition can sometimes annoy me in a poem, but you used it perfectly here.
4 years ago
I love the idea of the air being heavy with change. I feel like you just put words to an emotion I was feeling and didn't know how to describe it, and while it seems simple, when in you're in the thick of it, and overwhelmed, it's hard to see it.
Loved this. Would be awesome if you recorded this one.