Empty

The times I was weak
Hiding more than showing
Did I give my soul to the devil
Without me knowing
Am I a demon possessed
Or a spirit that is angry
I fought hard to what I stood for
And no one can get me
I'm not easy to read
That's the price That I pay
Trying to get someone to understand
It helps and hurts being this way
I don't deserve nor want
what's the thing that keeps me breathing
Segregation from reality
Doing but not seeing
I couldn't separate
wanting to be loved and staying true
From the decisions I had made trying to be there for you
I live with what I deserve
For what I have done
Battles are lost
No fight was won
I can never forgive myself
For how I acted when I shouldn't
When things didn't go my way
Wanting to change, And couldn't
I live with the pain
that will now reside eternally
I messed everything up
For the good that was coming to me
Blame it on my heart
And my faith in believing
I can pray for anything
And get bad more than good i should be receiving
I got shitted on
For wanting to make things better
The old me says goodbye
She is gone forever