Triggers

Sometimes I feel like I am falling
down, down, down
the rabbit hole
like the little girl Alice

Or maybe I am just drowning
when wave after wave
comes crashing into me
submerging me with memories

Some so old they seem to have faded
as time passes, aged and fuzzy
the scars still present
but the throbbing wounds subsided

But still others are fresh
sliced opened and bleeding
gushing out picture after picture
so sharp and clear

Triggers are the worst kind of cruelty
reviving even the oldest of moments
until they are burning and searing
like freshly cut flesh

Leaving my vision blurry,
my throat clogged with a unwanted emotion
so strong, so painful, I truly fear
that I might suffocate before I swallow

The smell of tobacco
the hiss of opened can of Pepsi
the hint of men's after shave
a harsh voice and large hands

Sends me back, back, back in time
to when I was a little girl
knees shaking with fear and teeth clenched tight
as my heart drops to my feet

A whirl wind of words, fists, and voices
viciously circles me round and round
making me want to silence it all
Will it ever stop? No one knows...