The Cockatrice and the Pharaoh's Barge

by Larry Chamberlin   Apr 15, 2016


Water slapped against banks of the Blue Nile;
something huge caused an unnatural wake
yet lurked shyly below murky surface
as festive barge was poled upstream by men
whose backs were ebon between reddish scars;
scourged for no reason other than custom,
for slaves must be beaten to submission,
(prevents even dreams of liberation).

Now hideous freedom arose from deep
topped by rooster head on serpentine coils
towers above the deck-hands, sweeping them
released from shadow of salvation to
a maw great and toothed and terrible tongued,
wrapping around men to pull them down gullet.

Great the cries from those left to suffer on,
to feel whips then and many days to come,
covet escape by quick merciful death,
tempted to leap into that hellish yawn;
yet too late they were as the monster slipped
back down into inky currents far gone;
no certainty of death, likely fished out,
then set on worse for attempting demise.

Miserable survivors sink poles down
resume the endless walk to Golgotha
scourged to dispel this brief glimmer of hope
eternal struggle to mount the river
though the weight of tide sends them back again
to plod the course back up forevermore.

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judge Comments:

    The title alone deserves 10 points :-)
    This poem is just incredible by Larry this week. I was so blown away when he posted this.

    Its rhythmic in it's graceful format and style and it held me captivated from start to finish.

    It's not very often that you read a poem within the Egyptian times, mixed with a mythical creature, with two heads... That is why I said the title stands in high regards!

    It doesn't matter to me if this was meant to be a metaphoric piece or as is... the message is brilliant and I am in complete awe!

  • 9 years ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment

    Another poem that stood out for me.
    Such kiplingesque narrative, such detail and tongue twisting
    fab scene setting. Just one of those poems that I wish I had written.
    I also salute the use of punctuation. Too many of us don't use it because we don't know how.
    A well placed comma trumps any poorly used adjective. 7 points.

    • 9 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      Thank you, Darren. To call this piece Kiplingesque is praise enough, but you added in the very thing I always anguish over most: punctuation. Thank you, again.

  • 9 years ago

    by Brenda

    Congratulations on your win-deep intense poem.

  • 9 years ago

    by Em

    Firstly I'd like to say congratulations on the win, how I missed this is I do not know.

    A very creative, beautiful piece full of imagery. Each piece of yours get better.

    Em

  • 9 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Larry,

    well done on this creative piece. I know how it feels to have an idea and work on it to completion.

    I am sure you are please on the win, I know I am pleased for you.

    'O ill-dispersing wind of misery!
    O my accursed womb, the bed of death!
    A cockatrice hast thou hatch'd to the world,
    Whose unavoided eye is murderous.'
    ^
    From Shakespeare's play, Richard III.

    Take care,

    Michael

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