Reason why i self harmed again, You

For all that i had you took away from me
and left me nothing but scars over my body
with a pain which lingers deep amidst me,
which grows deeper when i tried to heal
i loved you, looked upto you, saw parts of you in me
now all has gone to dust,
as i was only something to cure your lust.

Now rage drives me,
how could i let this happen ?
How could i make a fool out of myself ?
searching for a comfort which soothes my pain
like you once did for me,
i see no choice nut seek the blade,
for the sight of my blood completes me