My so called relationship

I sit here trying to stay sane
Playing loud music to drown my hate for you
Nothing seems to work
Am I making a big mistake?
Should I end this and forget we even existed

I can’t deal with this anymore
I feel used and taken advantage of
I speak and you don’t listen
I scream and yet you still don’t acknowledge
What will it take for you to get it?

Is it wrong to want to harm the one you love?
I can’t stop these thoughts from entering my mind
If only you had an idea
Of the pain you cause me

The greatest thing in life
Would be to never wake up
To never have to deal with my life anymore
I dream of that day
But it never seems to come

Isn’t love suppose to make you ecstatic
Why do I not feel it?
Why can’t you make me feel happiness?
Is that to much to ask for?

All I want is to feel love again
All I need is someone that makes me happy
Someone who never hurts me
But in my life that will never happen
Not with you
And yet I’m still here
All I want is to leave
But something holds be back

Could it be the idea of you changing?
Could it be my heart telling me to stay?
Whatever it is, I doubt it will last
Know one deserves to live like this
I refuse to anymore!!!