Brenda, to be honest, I am not a fan of winter. I don't like winter at all. It's a very lazy season, but there is another truth which is that I am a fan of your poems.
About this poem, beautifully crafted!
I don't even know where to start. The first thing comes in our mind after reading this poem is the beauty of this poem.
The poem begins with the quiet beauty of the trees, but I think everything around us becomes quiet once there is a snowfall and if it continues for days everything froze.
It's not only the trees which are laden, but it makes us heavily loaded too with too many clothes. But that's the beauty of the poems because in the last line of the poem you wrote lend to winter's warmth.
For me, it brings warmth in our relationships. I don't go out much, so do other members of the house. We get enough time to spend with each other, to know each other, and to ask what's everyone been up to, which we don't get in any other season.
In Second stanza, the imaginary is audio I can hear that grinding noise of the footsteps. We become more active and careful while walking on the roads during the winter.
The third stanza is full of visual imagination. With your creativity and imagination you have shown us a rainbow in the winter. This whole idea of ice freezes and becomes a prism to break light of sun in to multiple colors forming a rainbow below the surface of ice. It's really thoughtful of you.
In the last stanza the imaginary is tactile. I can feel the snowflakes of this poem on my face. I taste these wavering, feathery diamonds and I am still alive.
This site is full of sheer talent. Poetic gems always glitter here and will keep on like this forever.
I feel lucky to find this gem and got the chance to show it to others.
Brenda, I count the syllables too. Everything is good except the first line of the third stanza. The syllable count is 4 instead of 5. I could be wrong too. So, If could please cross-check?
If we exclude certain things like winter sports, Christmas etc. then winter sounds boring to me. Once the snowfall starts it consumes too much of our energy and time.
After reading this poem, I am in awe of winter too. You have given me a unique experience of this season and this poetical talent of yours will shimmer forever and one could easily find the gems written by you even if they were buried within the million stones.
Loved it :)
Naazz, thank you so much for such a lovely in-depth commentary. Growing up where I usually always have snow in the winter months, you learn to either embrace it and find beauty or you go stir crazy. We had one of those snowfalls that had draped the trees in such beauty, it's quiet beauty and that started it all. I've seen ice storms that after they are over you can't help but admire how everything looks magical, the sun hits it and it just comes alive. Everything is muffled but you crunch as you walk. Sometimes that's the only thing you hear. As far as diamonds. When we were young and waiting for the bus in the morning, it would be dark out but the snow fluttered like diamonds. My brother and I would play a game of who got which chunk of diamonds. To this day I still see diamonds. I did check that count on line 3, I counted 5 syllables. It may be how we each pronounce a word. We read them differently. Thank you again-
5 years ago
by Ben Pickard
Brenda, no words really other than this is a beautiful poem, beautifully done.
All the best as ever and happy new year, by the way,
My queen, your haiku strings are always mesmerizing! I really really loved this visually beautiful piece. Ahh, I am in awe of the magic of winter, and this piece captures the spirit nicely. Great work!
Brenda, this is such a gorgeous piece. I LOVE the winter. I mean, love love LOVE it. My favorite season. I welcome the cold with open arms whenever it grants us the short amount of time we get with it every year (and where I live, we don't get much). It actually snowed here a couple of weeks ago, and I stood outside on my porch at four o'clock in the morning wondering if the world was ending or if I was just dreaming. I hadn't seen or touched snow in almost ten years. It was such a lovely and unexpected treat :) You did an amazing job in capturing the chilly beauty of winter!
Awww thanks Ren! Isn't it magical when you haven't seen it for so long? I had a paper route as,a kid and delivered on a snowmobile. Did you ever watch the movie- "Stepmom" with Susan Sarandon? When her and her daughter went out on horseback with the snow falling, it was magical. I tried to capture those moments.