Leave me alone

Your ghost still haunts me.
sometimes I wish I could just turn off
the memories the way you turn off a light switch but it’s not that easy and;
No matter what I do or how much I try
to shut them out they keep coming back.
I remember-
Stumbling in my apartment door;
I’d fell to my knees after I watched you leave without looking back,
Unable to catch my breath as my chest caved into sobs.
And kisses.
Snowflakes of kisses in closets as we laugh and giggle;
Pure happiness coursing through my veins
as I get lost in everything that was once you,
Love and passion burning like a summer
night bonfire.
Video games and hotel rooms;
Making you take the controller while I cuddled
up with you behind me and ate peanut
butter pretzels
because the game terrified me and I’d just
wanted to watch you play.
Crying myself to sleep;
unable to get a grip on what had become of us
and wishing you’d pay attention to more
than just my body for once because that’s all you ever seemed to notice anymore.
You’ve always had a way of haunting me even when you’re not here,
hurting me even though you’re gone.
No matter where I go you are everywhere and nowhere all at once and-
I just want you to leave me alone.
Please just leave me alone.