But not in a negative way. I believe they call this progress and great self awareness. Seeing the imperfections around you, the way things were/are flipped upside down but not on fire...and standing amidst it. A little shy, but standing.
Congratulations on making it to the other side. Missed your writing.
I like this, how you make reference to haunted summers, now gone, presumably 4 of them. It speaks of the fragility of peace and how fear and memories are really the worst of it. Your refrain works well too in showing the fragile nature of your peace. X