Comments : Disco Quebrado

  • 4 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I've read this five times and oh my, it's such a heavy piece to me. That opening image is so crisp and clear to imagine, so bold and sensual, "thighs strangled". It almost read abrasive to me? Which pulled me into this poem because I really had no idea what direction you were going to take with that...

    "barefooted" sounded a bit off, maybe this is just me but I think "barefoot" would sound better and work better with the flow.

    The realization and kind of starkness of still having those lipstick stains, of picturing that and however much time has passed, that shape and shade is still a remnant... that's powerful. Perhaps you're imagining this lost love sipping or there's that sharp image of every move that usually happens. Like a dance that now continues without you.

    The television static showed a disillusionment, a break in reality, you not accepting the change. The way you drift between memories and what is even "the present time"?

    The record skipping, even those few lines, was so jarring to read. Like the normal flow of things with this person, the sounds of music, the steadiness, all that has been shattered. And you're reminded of this with one little skip. You confided in that last line and it hit hard.

    This was, for some reason, something I saw as such a different piece from you, but at the same time I felt the yearning and emotions you always grace us with in your poems. You really said a lot without too much detail. Just enough. Those little shifts you described that made all the difference to highlight a lost love.

    • 4 months ago

      by Daniel

      Thank you so much for the comment, and Michael too. I agree completely, barefoot is better. You managed to capture almost all of the moments in the poem. Always appreciate reading your comments. :)

  • 4 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Like a chain of haiku, but dare I say, better.

    I agree with the last comment, except the 'barefooted' part. The memory of two barefooted lovers played in my mind well.

    Excellent piece.

  • 4 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    The Title "Disco Quebrado" (Quebrado - Spanish for in seperate pieces, fragmented, broken" for me added an extra dimension to this piece. Throughout your wording and imagery is spot on promoting the dark theme of the haunting memories of broken love. An excellent write. Milly x

    • 4 months ago

      by Daniel

      Thank you Milly. I’m currently in Mexico so maybe I was inspired! :D

  • 4 months ago

    by Everlasting

    When I hear “disco quebrado” I immediately associate it with the spine (Se rompió un disco o algo así)and inability to walk. At first read, I get the sense that someone had a hand over??? I’m not even sure. But I enjoyed how the piece flowed as I read it.

    • 4 months ago

      by Daniel

      It might be related to my inability to dance haha. I really don’t understand what you mean by ‘someone had a hand over?’ Sorry! Thanks for your comment :)

  • 4 months ago

    by Everlasting

    Oops sorry, I meant hangover. Lol not hand over.
    I have not experience a hangover before but I've seen in movies that sometimes people can barely walk. They can barely remember anything, and often need help from others.

    When I read the line “the record skips”, i immediately read it as memory is not working. Meaning that she or he can’t remember anything.

    I’m vía my phone so I cant see in which category this piece was posted. So my interpretation of the poem is based on first read. If I dwell on it some more, I might end up coming with something different.

    For all I know “disco quebrado” can be just that “ a disco” that plays music. But the opening line and the title immediately made me think of spine. Lol

    A good write.

    • 4 months ago

      by Daniel

      When you see the category is ‘lost love’ you might change your mind, but I really enjoyed your interpretation! Hangovers can be quite debilitating, you’re right. :D

      ‘Disco Quebrado’ means ‘broken record/disc’

  • 4 months ago

    by Meena Krish

    Reading this gave me just one vivid image! I like the way you have
    broken up each stanza with each one standing on its own like a scene..
    After reading the translation of the title got a clearer picture...the mood
    really set in with a heavy tone. Congrats on the Win!!

    Thank you for the comment..appreciate it

  • 4 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Well done, Daniel. This is excellent.

    • 4 months ago

      by Daniel

      Thanks Ben. Hope you’re well :)