Comments : I Can’t Make It Better

  • 1 month ago

    by BOB GALLO

    What a pity, otherwise they were the best match. Now that the narrator is not that shining and the beloved, not that dark, there are hopes in the heart of the narrator for the possibility of their matchability.
    Of course, I am breaking it to my brute language, otherwise, there are lots of beauty in the way you said it.
    Always fun to read your works and see your angles, Daniel.

  • 1 month ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I got a bit emotional reading this, to be honest. I promise I will come back to write more of a comment. But it's favorited for now.

    • 1 month ago

      by Daniel

      Thank you both.
      No problem, take your time MA. :)

  • 1 month ago

    by Star

    This is like a song written by a singer-songwriter!!

    • 1 month ago

      by Daniel

      There are some terrible singer songwriters so I hope this was meant as a compliment ;)

  • 1 month ago

    by Star

    Hahahaha I had to comment back, yes I meant it as a compliment!! There are really good ones though, one of my favorite genres!

  • 1 month ago

    by Milly Hayward

    I liked this and agree with other comments it does read like a poetry song combo in a nice way of course. Can see why its already racked up a fair few likes already. Milly x

  • 1 month ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Okay, I'm back and ready to release all the thoughts I've had on this piece without caring if I ramble or basically repeat the same thing ;)

    The opening lines made me immediately think of when we try to soothe and comfort others with our words, whether that is in cards we write, poetry we share, wisdom we speak or even lines we sing. But sometimes, that is not enough to break through a heaviness. A numbness. A depression.

    My mind automatically went to mental health and maybe that is because we can connect with poems based on what we've been through. I remember back when I was at my lowest, I clung to a certain person as I thought he could "save me" and no one else needed to know or help. I was kidding myself, thinking that I would be fine as long as he could be there. That was a lot of pressure on him. It was also a lot of denial on my part.

    The choice of "unfixable" stood out to me, usually I hear it worded as "you are not broken". We all have parts of us that are still hurting, that still need to heal, that at times feel raw and tender when we re-visit them. The rejection of the idea that a person cannot be fixed, that there is room to grow and progress, is encouraging. I wouldn't quite say it is "fixing" that we need, more so, a better technique to care for ourselves. I felt the nuance in your words, the realization that it's not always black-and-white. People don't need to be "fixed" by other people, they don't need to reinvent or change themselves, only understand they are capable of love too. There was a call to start a journey of self-love. At least how it read to me.

    You can honest to goodness try your best to be there for this person, to be the best foundation and the most compassionate companion to lift this person up, but they too have to give that to themselves. To believe they deserve that.

    The "untended/ unweeded" parts brought me back to how we can't perfectly tend to another person or rid them completely of their demons. We can try to pick away the burs and insecurities, to remind them to still eat, replenish themselves. We can be that voice and person bringing them the necessities to keep going, but we become tired too. This whole poem spoke to me on the level of self-care. And how we can blame ourselves for another person's mental health not being the best, forgetting that we are only human and can only give so much without being exhausted and malnourished (mentally, emotionally etc) ourselves.

    OKAY - the last few lines! I... kept thinking how to word this. How can it be phrased so simply yet convey so much emotion? It is a reassurance, a voice that stays with me. A reminder. You could have written "you are not IN the dark" but you wrote "you are not THE dark". How one can be lead to self-sabotage, self-destruction. To be the very definition of hopeless. To not care about the harm. When I hurt myself, perhaps part of me believed I was the dark and therefore unable to be brought forward to represent light. There didn't seem to be any light ahead and why move forward if there was no light. Your last lines reminded me of the way I felt when I used to spend the day at Barnes & Noble and pull aside poets like Tyler Knott Gregson and Rupi Kaur. Those poetry books were my ways to indulge. I would bury my head and heart in them and I felt understood after reading them. Encouraged. Validated. Like someone knew how low we can bring ourselves and how deserving we are of greater things.

    We must create our own light, our own brilliance, and save some mercy for ourselves.

    I am in love with this piece. That is all <3

  • 1 month ago

    by Rania Moallem

    Oh, Danny. What a great piece. That last stanza is everything.

    Very thought-provoking. Your word choice and structure are simple but used like a master's recipe.