Depression

by ImTheGirl   Jul 21, 2019


“What’s wrong with her today?”
“I don’t know, must be another mood.”
“She’s probably overreacting again.”
“Maybe she broke up with that dude.”

“Whatever, I don’t have time for this.”
“Eventually, she’ll come around”
And so they walked away quickly
Without another sound

But what they didn’t know is that they killed their friend
A little bit that day
They broke her spirit and let her down
Simply by walking away

They didn’t take time to hear her out
All they saw was another episode
They didn’t realize that she needed help
And was headed down a very dark road

On that day she learned to depend on herself
Sometimes your friends just don’t understand
It wasn’t personal but she needed help
Before she sank deeper into the sand

A sneaky thing depression is
How it can take your mind for a spin
How it affects your well being and mentality
There’s just no way to win

It’s waking up mad for no reason at all
And begging yourself to get out of bed
It’s counting down the hours until you return
While silencing the bad thoughts in your head

It’s knowing you need to eat
But having no desire to do so
It’s a mental battle of “Will I win or will I lose?”
How many more days do I owe

Today she made a choice she should have made years ago
She, I, made the choice to help me
I made the choice to survive
And help myself get free

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I was just having a discussion with someone that a symptom of depression that can often be overlooked is irritability. Also, people don't realize that depression can affect people differently. It doesn't always look the same. Just like with, say, manic episodes, it can be hard for the person to understand the severity of a low episode (or the terrifying reality of being manic). It's more than simply breaking it down to "oh, that person's moody today". We can't necessarily will it away and it's more complicated than that. We deserve patience and reminders on how to cope to get through that period. Patience with ourselves and from our support system.

    I definitely connected with the concept of counting down the hours. One tactic I used to use was seeing how long I could go, if I could make it one more minute, then hour, then day and just keep pushing. To not let the dark thoughts win.

    There's an honesty, vulnerability and courage in your voice and I thank you so much for sharing that with us. Mental health struggles and mental illness is often trivialized, and some people don't realize they can do more harm than good in how they may think they are giving support or encouragement. Proud of you for fighting the good fight. Also, just one thing I noticed in this piece is the second to last stanza, first word fourth line should be "How".

    Here's to surviving and hopefully living to thrive and keep being victorious <3

    • 4 years ago

      by ImTheGirl

      Thank you very much for your comment. This is definitely something that I've struggled with for some time. Looking back, knowing what I've begun to learn about depression, my life makes a little more sense. All the years of pushing it to the side has finally caught up with me, but in a good way I suppose because now I get to address it. Thank you for sharing and being an inspiration.

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